


Hate's a strong word

by PeterHaleforAlpha



Series: Tumblr prompts [3]
Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: M/M, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-03-22 09:10:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 22,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3723313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterHaleforAlpha/pseuds/PeterHaleforAlpha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a little One Shot Collection of my tumblr prompts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_[barnettparker](http://barnettparker.tumblr.com/) asked: Maybe Nathan/Duke please and something along the lines of -Nathan liked it when Duke made allowances for his trouble without calling attention to it- Maybe something like testing the temperature of something for him or still being gentle when treating a wound even though Nathan doesn’t feel it, if you’re so inspired._

* * *

 

Nathan watched every movement of Duke’s fingers, how they slid over his skin, how careful he was with treating this wound. “Why do you do that?” He asked before he even thought about it.

Duke raised his head. “Because you cut yourself with a knife and I know you. You won’t treat it yourself because you can’t feel it, so it’s nothing to worry about, right?”

Nathan shook his head. That wasn’t what he wanted to ask. “No, I meant, why are you so gentle?” Nathan didn’t feel it, Nathan wouldn’t know if Duke just wrapped a bandage around his hand without caring. He could do it quickly and wouldn’t have to think about hurting him but he did it slowly and tenderly so that Nathan asked himself why.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Nate.” Duke was putting the bandage around his hand. “I know that you can’t feel it but that’s exactly why I’m so careful with you. You can’t know if I’m hurting you and maybe it’s ridiculous because it’s just a scratch and I won’t hurt you if I’m less gentle but I don’t want to take that risk.”

Nathan was speechless. Duke really cared that much for him? He never would have thought, not really. They had a complicated relationship, they never really came along although they were friends since childhood but so much had happened between them, it was hard to get back to that. It was hard just to forget what kept them apart.

But Duke still cared like they were still kids.

It was not only that. Nathan noticed little things over the past few weeks like Duke made always sure that his coffee had the right temperature when he brought him a cup or that he didn’t just pull his arm to stop him from leaving but actually said just stop because Duke knew how hard it was for Nathan to be put out off balance like that.

Duke always made sure that he was making it easier for Nathan to deal with his Trouble.

“Nate?” Duke’s voice took him out of his thoughts. “You’re okay?”

Nathan just nodded. “Yes, of course.”

“Okay, then, all stitched up.” Duke tapped his hand gently and smiled. And he made eye contact so Nathan would notice the touch. He did this every time. Always when Duke was touching him he made sure that Nathan would see it.

“Thank you!” Nathan didn’t just mean to thank Duke for treating his wound but for everything else but the rest of the words kept stuck in his throat. He wasn’t good at it, not at all, especially not with Duke.

“Just be more careful the next time. I can’t be around anytime.”

Nathan just nodded and promised himself to thank Duke the next time. The next time he brought him coffee or just did anything to help him, to make it easier to live with this Trouble.


	2. Chapter 2

_[fitzcharmingward](http://fitzcharmingward.tumblr.com/) asked: Nuke, 45 please_

* * *

 

„So, Detective Wuornos,“ Duke leaned back in his chair and smiled broadly, “how about you let me out of here.” He raised his hands which were bound by handcuffs.

“Forget it, Crocker.” Nathan stood up and walked in front of the door of the interrogation room. “You don’t get out of here until you tell the truth. I know it was you and I will be patient until I have your confession.”

Duke tilted his head and pointed with his right hand at Nathan. “I’m sorry, pal, but there you are wrong. It wasn’t me.”

Nathan folded his arms. “And you think I will believe this? Since you are back in town, there are way more crimes than before. Don’t think that I can’t see the connection there, _Duke_.”

“You just can’t stand me, Nate, and you try to make my life a living hell, that’s all. Since you are willing to wait for my confession tells me that you have no evidence at all. So I just have to lean back and wait till I’m allowed to go.”

“I will keep you here for days,” Nathan threatened.

Duke just chuckled. “Two days max, pal, I know the rules. If you don’t have any evidence till then you have to let me go.”

Nathan sat down again, sighing frustrated. “Just say that it was you.”

“Tell me a secret!”

“What?”

“Tell me a secret, Nate. Do you remember our little game when we were kids? You tell me a secret, I tell you one. Maybe this works, maybe I tell you what you want to hear.”

“I don’t play any games with you, Crocker, especially when I know that you did it. I will find evidence, believe me and you can rot in a cell.”

“Maybe I should start?”

Nathan smiled. “So you come to your senses?”

Duke leaned on the table so that he was a little nearer to Nathan. “I didn’t come back for any kind of work. I came back for you.”

Nathan furrowed his forehead. “So we can be friends again? This is over!” His voice was bitter and full of rage.

“I heard a rumor that the Troubles are back. I just wanted to make sure that you weren’t alone. I came back to look if you are okay. I know how you close up with your Trouble.”

“This is your secret? You being worried about me?” Nathan didn’t sound very convinced. “Duke, just stop it.”

“Why, Nathan? Because you don’t want to hear it?” He shook his head. “You never wanted to hear it.”

Nathan opened his mouth and shut it again. Instead of saying anything he leaned forward and unlocked the handcuffs. “Go!”

Duke massaged his wrists. “Just like that?”

“Just go, Duke. Take the opportunity and leave.”

“Nathan, I-“

 _“_ Go!” Now Nathan was shouting and Duke understood the wink. He should go unless he wanted a punch in the face. So Duke left.


	3. Chapter 3

_[fiore-della-valle](http://fiore-della-valle.tumblr.com/) fragte: For the pairing/prompts list you posted: #5 or #18, Nathan and Duke?_

* * *

 

Duke leaned on the counter to get closer to this red haired beauty in front of him. He was smiling charmingly and made her compliments from “You have really beautiful eyes” to “Your voice sounds like the singing of an angel.”

It was embarrassing and awkward to watch and still Nathan couldn’t look away. He was fixed on Duke’s eyes, how he searched over the woman’s body and Nathan could see the lust in Duke’s eyes. Something Nathan didn’t like at all. He grabbed his almost empty bottle of beer tighter while he tried to force himself to turn away – without success.

Instead he cleared his throat loudly and tapped with the bottle on the counter. “What have normal customers to do if they want a drink around here?”

Duke turned to him, whispered an excuse to the woman – something like “Will be back in a sec” – and came over to him. He put a fresh bottle of beer in front of him and smiled his devilish Crocker smile. “On the house, Chief – for the inconvenience.”

“Does she get her drink on the house too?” He pointed to the redhead.

Duke shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe she even gets something else from the house too.”

Nathan snorted and took a sip of his beer. “Good luck with that.” It sounded more acrid than he wanted to be. He was not bitter. He didn’t care with whom Duke Crocker went home on this evening or any evening at all. He didn’t mind what Duke did with his life.

“You certainly know that I don’t need that.” Duke had leaned forward and whispered into his ear. Then he backed away and winked at him.

Nathan grabbed the bottle and drank some of it. He didn’t want to think about the meaning behind that. He didn’t want to think that Duke only had to point to the bed and Nathan had jumped. He didn’t want to think about it because it was all different now. Everything had changed since they were teenagers. It got more difficult and complicated. And Nathan couldn’t admit that he wanted this back – whatever this was what they had back then. So he couldn’t think of it, not now, not when Duke was so close to him and would be back to that girl in a few seconds.

“Me and her … there is a difference,” he just pointed out.

“Totally. She is cuter than you.” Duke smiled broadly.

“Then you should go back to her before she is gone,” Nathan said sharply. “Ladies don’t like to wait.” He didn’t either, so he probably should just go and not hang around and watch Duke flirting with a woman.

Duke nodded. “You are probably right. Beautiful women don’t like – wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“No?”

Duke laughed. “Was this a question?”

“No!” Nathan wasn’t jealous because there was nothing to be jealous about. There was nothing between them. Anything that had been there was a long time ago. Duke could do what he wanted. Nathan didn’t care at all.

Duke leaned a little forward and watched him with furrowed eyebrows. “I don’t believe you. You are grumpier than usual.”

“I’m just annoyed. It’s the third girl this week and it’s sad to watch you flirt with them. Your pick up lines are so stupid.”

Duke just laughed loudly and hit with his palm on the counter. “You, Nathan Wuornos, counted _and_ you watched.” He pointed at him amused. “You are jealous.”

“I am not!” Nathan really didn’t know what else to say. Maybe he was. Maybe he didn’t want Duke to go home with this woman. But he would never admit it in front of him – never! Not after everything they’ve been through. He wouldn’t be the one that would bow down before the other. “I couldn’t care less who you are talking to.”

“And yet you are still sitting here, Nathan.”

“I can go!” Nathan stood up. There were two options here. First one he stayed and admitted that he was indeed jealous, only a little bit of course, or he just went away and forgot all of it as fast as possible. He chose the second one, grabbed his beer and walked outside. He sat down on one of the chairs and stared at the sea.

He took another sip of his beer and sighed. Why was it always so complicated with Duke? Why was it a damn competition of who admit his feelings first?

Nathan had been angry at Duke for such a long time that he didn’t want to give him the satisfaction that it was over – just like that. He couldn’t just go over to Duke and say that he wanted him – apart from everything that had happened. That it only took some time to forget all that was wrong between them. Or not forget at all – that was the worst part. Nathan was still angry, he was furious at Duke that he just left him here alone, that he betrayed him more than once. Nathan was not over this and he still wanted Duke because it had always been Duke for him.

He sighed again and closed his eyes. It didn’t matter to think about this right now because Duke would take this woman home and have a good night and Nathan would sit here alone.

“You know, you really could work on your flirting skills.” The cheery voice of Duke popped up next to him.

Nathan opened his eyes and turned to him. He wanted to ask what he was doing here as Duke added: “I mean, you don’t have to be the ‘I don’t care’-guy. Or _I’m not jealous_.” Duke grinned and leaned a little closer. “You could just have said that _you_ wanted to go home with me tonight.”

“Where is the redhead?” Nathan didn’t know what to respond to that so he just dodged with another question.

“Introduced her to Ronald. Nice guy, handsome. He was happy, she was … kind of pissed that I pushed her to the another man but I didn’t care. I couldn’t care less to whom she goes home tonight.”

“So you dumped her?” Nathan noticed that Duke was imitating him and it let a smile appear on his lips. The thought of Duke dumping this woman maybe brought something for that smile too.

“She was a replacement anyway. Something to get my mind off of things.” He shrugged. “I don’t need this anymore.”

Duke held his bottle up and looked to Nathan. He was certainly waiting for a toast. So he tapped his bottle against Dukes’, first the top then the bottom. It was routine, it was like a habit you couldn’t get rid of. Maybe Duke was just like this toast of them, easy to come back to.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This plays after 2x02

_[fiore-della-valle](http://fiore-della-valle.tumblr.com/) fragte: For the fic meme you posted - 17 "Hollow" , DukexNathan? _

* * *

 

Nathan let the flower of the rose fall. It was a stupid try, a painful reminder of what he lost again. There was nothing when he caressed his lips with the flower, nothing at all, not like a couple of hours ago where suddenly everything seemed right again.

And now it was all gone again, no pain, no heat, no cold. He couldn’t feel anything!

Suddenly the crowded place of the Gull was too much for him. He didn’t wait any longer for his meal to arrive, instead stood up and left the place. They were all laughing, talking and having fun and Nathan couldn’t feel anything except the big hole in his chest. He felt hollow, like a shell.

He grabbed the door handle of his car and even this let him freeze for a moment. Normally he was so used to it. It didn’t bother him that he couldn’t feel simple things like objects but today it was too much. He thought he had won it back and beat his curse.

Of course Nathan had looked forward to early. There was no such thing as getting rid of a Trouble, not as easily as it happened to Nathan. He should have known it. He should have known better.

Nathan opened the door when he heard his name. He swung around and saw Duke approaching.

“Did you forget your dinner, mate? I have worked really hard for it.” He was grinning but there was a sadness in his eyes that Nathan rarely saw on his best friend.

“I’m not hungry anymore,” he mumbled and turned away again.

“Wait, Nathan.”

Nathan could see the movement, saw how Duke reached out for him, wanted to grab his arm and Nathan reacted intuitively. He backed away.

“Nate?” Duke looked like a hurt puppy as he pulled his hand back again.

“Don’t,” was the only word that Nathan was able to say. It was hard enough to except that he couldn’t feel anymore. He almost couldn’t handle that there was nothing when he touched his car. If Duke would lay a hand on him he would probably fall apart.

He remembered how Duke had offered to buy some entertaining in form of pretty ladies for him and how he hold him back, touched his hand to stop him from that. It was the first time since forever that Nathan really felt alive. Duke had been always there and he was still but not feeling him was so hard sometimes. And today it had been all different. Nathan had been so sure that he could forgive Duke that he triggered his Trouble when he came back to town. It would have been so easy to forgive him when he could feel.

But now it was all gone again.

And Duke was still here. He didn’t care that Nathan couldn’t feel, he would stay but for Nathan it was a cruel reminder of what he had lost, not only the ability to feel, also the possible relationship he could have had with Duke. But this was over, it was not possible. Not like this.

“Just don’t touch me,” Nathan said again. He held onto his car as if he was afraid of falling over.

“Nathan, I-“ Duke started but stopped as if he didn’t know what to say.

“Don’t try, Duke.” There were no words that could change anything. No words to make this situation any better. Nathan got into the car and wanted to shut the door when Duke stopped him. He held the door open and just stared at Nathan. “What?” Anger was rising in his voice.

“I’m sorry, Nathan, for what happened.”

Nathan shook his head. It wasn’t Duke’s fault. Nathan made the decision to give up his ability to feel to help this poor girl. Actually Duke and Audrey tried to stop him but Nathan knew it was the right thing to do. He could live an almost normal life with his Trouble, the girl couldn’t. It was the right choice.

“I can’t imagine how it must feel like to lose this again.”

“Feel like?” Nathan’s voice got louder. “Feel like? Do you know how it feels to feel nothing at all?” Nathan was screaming now and pushed himself out of the car again. “I can do anything I want to my body and there is just nothing. Nothing at all, only numbness.”

Duke backed away this time, shock in his eyes probably about the sudden outburst. It was not typical for Nathan but he couldn’t care less at the moment. He didn’t know how to handle it in any other way. He had to do something and this was the only thing that came into his mind.

“And you come here and say how sorry you are. You have no idea, Duke.” He had no idea how it felt to feel nothing on your skin, especially not the touch of someone you so desperately wanted to feel.

Nathan formed his hand to a fist, not sure what he wanted to do.

“You’re right. I have no idea, Nate.” His voice sounded sad, almost as if he felt compassion for him. This sound just let Nathan’s anger rise even more. “And I’m sorry. I’m sorry that this day ended like this. That you all lost it again and that I couldn’t do anything to change that. I’m sorry, Nate.”

Nathan looked down and shook his head. He pressed his hand more tightly and he didn’t care if his fingernails would dig into his skin. Nathan didn’t think any further as he lashed out and hit Duke with his fist right in the face.

Duke trembled back a few steps. “What the hell, Nathan?” He wiped over his mouth to get rid of the blood that was dropping from his lip.

“You did this!” Nathan shouted and started a new attack but Duke dodged out of the way this time. “You took this from me.” Another blow was send in Duke’s direction and this time he just stood there motionless so that it hit him right in the face again. He went to the ground. Nathan stepped closer and looked down on him. He could see his hands shaking and noticed that there was blood on his fist too. Even that he didn’t feel at all.

“You feel better now?” Duke asked angry.

No, he didn’t. Nathan had hoped that it would take some of his pain, to let out his anger on the man who was responsible but it didn’t help at all. Not even hitting Duke brought him any kind of satisfaction. And most of the times it did. “Just leave me alone.” He couldn’t bear to look at Duke at the moment. The need of feeling him mixed with the anger pointed at him was too much right now.

“Got it.” Duke straightened up a bit.

Nathan nodded and turned away, walking to his car again.

“Nathan!”

Nathan rolled his eyes but turned around one last time – but really the last time.

“I know. I know that this is my fault and I feel terrible about it every day. I try to make it up to you but I know that it is not enough especially not today. But I am sorry, Nate, and I will be here. On the day you can forgive me, I’ll be here.”

Nathan could see how serious Duke was with this but he was right. At the moment this was irrelevant. This had no meaning at all, not today. But Nathan would remind these words because maybe – someday in the future – they could be important.

Just not today!


	5. Chapter 5

_[ladysciles](http://ladysciles.tumblr.com/) fragte: Duke/Nathan + “You don’t have to stay.”_

* * *

 

Duke’s movements were stiff and ungainly as he tried to get out off Nathan’s car. This happened if you were thrown through the air by some Trouble and crashed against the next wall. Everything on Duke hurt and everything was blue and black and colorful. The doctors just said that he needed rest. Luckily nothing was broken, everything was just swollen. So resting time for Duke Crocker. He could have thought of something more fun to do than just lay in bed and he would have if Audrey wasn’t as persuasive as she was. She was pretty intimidating if she barked orders at you and Duke could only agree and promise her to stay home.

So Nathan drove him – also an instruction of Audrey.

“You need help?” Nathan’s voice was as always, devoid of any kind of emotion.

This he could do, not shown how he felt. Probably he was even annoyed to be here. “Don’t bother, Nathan,” Duke answered and wanted to free him from this miserable situation. Audrey just asked Nathan to drive him over, nothing more. He could go home. But Nathan followed him until Duke was on his boat and downstairs at his dinner table.

He let himself slip on the bench, tried to not let out a sound of pain. His whole body was aching and although Duke was a man of action, he wouldn’t mind to sit this one out and just lay on his bed and go to sleep.

“You don’t have to stay,” he said to Nathan who was still there, standing in the middle of the room and seemed a little lost, not knowing what he should do. “I’ll just lie down and sleep. I’m not running away or anything.”

“I don’t think that you are running away. You can barely walk.” Nathan looked at him with a determined gaze in his eyes. “That’s why I’m staying.”

“You want to make me soup and read a bed time story? Aww, that’s so sweet of you, Nathan.” Duke grinned and wanted to entangle his hands behind his head but it only caused him more pain in his chest and he groaned.

“No!” Nathan’s voice was harsh but his touch was gentle when he laid his hand on Duke’s arm. “I’m just not sure this was all an accident. This man’s eyes. They were full of rage – against you. It was personal and I’m not taking any risks as long as he is out there.”

Duke was speechless for a moment. Did Nathan just say that he cared for him? Something was wrong here, very wrong. Nathan Wuornos didn’t care for him, never had. Duke was just a liability for him, nothing more, and Duke didn’t want Nathan to feel obligated to stay here – even if it was for his safety. Nathan didn’t have to waste his time on him.

“I never saw this guy before. You must have seen something else. And even if – nothing comes through that door if I don’t want it to.”

“He pushed you several feet into the air?” Nathan raised an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure he could crush through this door.”

“I can’t convince you to go, can I?”

Nathan shook his head and crossed his arms. “I’m staying.”

Duke sighed. “Okay, then, make yourself comfortable.” He pointed in front of him to the other side of the table.

Nathan sat down and watched him closely. “You don’t want me to stay. Why?”

“It’s not that I don’t want you to stay.” Duke had nothing against it, nothing at all. But he was afraid what feelings that could cause him. “It’s just … I actually might think that you care. And I don’t know if this is a bad thing or a good thing.” He swore himself never to hope anything could happen between them, never again because it ended always in the same way: Duke gave everything and only got hurt. But he never learned and if Nathan said something like that Duke could start hoping again and it could end so much worse.

“Duke, I don’t understand.”

Of course not. Nathan and feelings. These were two different kinds of things, never used in the same sentence. “I’m saying that I just don’t want to see something that is not there and you are making it very hard for me at the moment.”

“I just want to make sure that you are safe.”

“Yes, I know.” It was probably not a very good idea to talk about feelings with Nathan, especially not feelings regarding Nathan. “I think I’ll lie down now.” Duke stood up, even more stiff than before, and walked past Nathan. He didn’t come far as Nathan grabbed his arm.

“Duke, wait.” Nathan stared at him, so many questions in his eyes. Duke felt like a teenager again, losing himself in those eyes and wanting nothing more than to look at him for the rest of his life. “What is wrong?”

And Duke gave up. Nathan didn’t have to beg. He would tell him everything, he just needed to ask. “When I was flying through the air, I thought for a moment I would die. This force was so powerful I was convinced I wouldn’t make it. And the only thing I could think about was … you!” Duke heard Nathan yell – even over the howling wind around his ear. There was Nathan’s voice and he saw him in front of his eyes. The kid, the teenager, the young adult and the present Nathan. They were all there and Duke had wished to make things better.

“I wanted to have one more chance to make things right between us. And now you are here, refusing to go because you want to protect me.” Duke swallowed and fought back the tears.

“I’m here because you are my friend and because I care about you, Duke. There is nothing false about this.”

“But-“

“No but.” Nathan shook his head, putting his hand on Duke’s cheek. “I also thought for a brief moment that-“ Nathan’s voice broke and he looked away. He needed to take a deep breath before adding: “I thought you were dead as you lay on the ground. You didn’t move and I really thought I lost you.”

Duke felt Nathan’s hand shaking. Nathan probably didn’t even noticed by himself. “It was the most awful thing I ever felt and I just want to make sure you are okay. I want to feel you and I can’t.” Nathan looked hurt as he raised his head again. “That’s why I _need_ to look at you. I need to look at you to know that you are okay.”

Duke didn’t know what to respond to that so he just nodded. It was so much more than just caring from Nathan’s side and Duke didn’t bother anymore if it was right or wrong to have hope because he had hope and so much more.

“I will sleep now,” Duke said after a little while. They hadn’t moved at all, still standing right in front of each other, still Nathan’s hand on Duke’s cheek. “And you can watch me all night. I’m not going anywhere.”

Nathan nodded. “Okay.”


	6. Chapter 6

Nathan jumped on Duke’s boat and yelled his name. He repeated it several times because he got no answer to it.

“Dammit, where are you?” Nathan didn’t want to admit it but he was concerned. Duke called him half an hour ago and something just wasn’t right. Although Duke said that everything was fine Nathan couldn’t shake the feeling that it was not.

He stormed downstairs and into the living area. It was all abandoned and there was no sign of Duke until he entered the bedroom. He was lying on his bed and stared to the ceiling.

“Duke, god damn it, I called for you.” Nathan let out a small sigh of relief. There he was, still there. “Why didn’t you-“ Nathan stepped a little closer and that’s when he noticed it. The blood! All over Duke’s body. “Oh my god! What happened?” He rushed to his side and pressed his hands on the open wound on his shoulder. “Duke?”

Duke turned his head and looked confused at Nathan as if he didn’t even realize that he came in. “Nathan?”

Nathan nodded. “Yes, I’m here.” While he was holding eye contact to reassure Duke that he wouldn’t leave he fished out his phone and called an ambulance to get help. “What happened?” He asked again after he finished the phone call. “Who did this?” Anger filled his voice.

“Nathan,” just came again.

“Duke, focus.” It wasn’t that Nathan necessarily wanted an answer. This question could wait but Duke seemed so far away that it scared Nathan to hell. He was already somewhere where he couldn’t get to him. “Tell me something, okay? Just anything you want.”

“Ever wonder if the world would be better off without you…?”

“What?” Nathan didn’t like what direction this conversation pursued. Did Duke do this to himself? Nathan shook his head. Duke would never try something like this. He was not a man who would run from his problems or just give up. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, Nathan, that the whole Guard wants me dead. That my destiny is to kill troubled people and I probably sooner or later will murder someone. And that no one on this whole world would miss me. My father and my mother never cared about me. Why would anyone else?”

Nathan knew that Duke had a crappy childhood but he couldn’t believe what he just heard. Duke couldn’t actually think that, could he? Had Nathan been so cold to him that he really thought that no one would miss him?

“Duke, don’t say something like that.”

Duke managed half of a smile. “So you would miss me?” He meant it as a joke because he was so sure to know the answer.

“Yes,” he said as serious as possible. He didn’t want Duke to see it as mocking or anything else. It was the truth and it was probably the first time that Nathan ever said this to his friend. “So don’t you dare to die on me here, do you understand?”

Duke nodded. He didn’t say anything, just put his hand on Nathan’s.

In the distance Nathan could hear the sirens of the ambulance. He stayed the whole time with Duke, he drove with the ambulance to the hospital, waited for Duke in the waiting area and finally sat by his bedside till he woke up again.

“Hey, Nathan, still here?”

“Of course.” He just needed to know that Duke was okay. He grabbed his hand. “I don’t know if the world would be better off without you, Duke. It probably would to be honest.” He smiled a little but then looked Duke right in the eyes. “But I’m sure of one thing. I would not be.”

“Nathan…”

“I know, I don’t say it but I thought you knew. We are friends since childhood, we have been through so much together and we are still here, together. Don’t you think only for a second that I wouldn’t miss you.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place between season 3 and season 4 so beware of sadness and a lot of pain

[fiore-della-valle](http://fiore-della-valle.tumblr.com/) fragte: For your prompt meme (if you have time!) : “I just really need to have you here right now.” Duke x Nathan

* * *

 

Some days were worse than others. On some days he could forget for a little time and on some days it came all back to him like a crushing reminder of what he had done. Today was such a day. Today was worse than ever.

Today was Duke’s birthday – or would have been.

It would have been Duke’s birthday if Nathan hadn’t sent him into that barn. Hadn’t sent him to his own death.

Nathan knew that he probably shouldn’t been here. He should have been far away from Haven, hiding from the Guard. But he needed to be here. He walked under deck on Duke’s boat and sat down at the kitchen table. Since Wade lived here some things had changed but there was still this smell that reminded Nathan of Duke. The smell of seawater and whiskey. He was still here although he was gone. All because of Nathan.

He walked over to the cupboards and opened a few until he found what he was looking for. He pulled out the bottle of Scotch – Duke’s favourite one – and grabbed a glass. He poured something in and emptied it in one go.

“Happy birthday, Duke,” he whispered and filled some more in the glass.

He didn’t know how long he sat there. The bottle was half empty and everything hurt. It had been bad the entire time since that day but today everything was thousand times worse than before. It hurt to know that Duke won’t come back. The one constant in his life, the one person who was always at his side even when he was far away. Duke had been there and Nathan had only thought about rescuing Audrey. He hadn’t thought at all. And now they were both gone and it hurt that Audrey was gone, more than Nathan thought ever possible but it was unbearable to not have Duke by his side. He would have distracted him from Audrey. He would have thought of something. They would go fishing or anything else. Anything stupid where Duke would drag him along.

But he wasn’t here and Nathan couldn’t cope. “I just … really need to have you here right now.” He blinked away the tears in his eyes. “I never said it but you are my friend. You are my best friend and I can’t live without you. I don’t know how.”

“Oh, since when are you so sentimental, Nate?” Duke leaned against the kitchenette.

Nathan looked up, not surprised at all. First it started in his dreams then Duke was sometimes still there when he woke up. And now it happened here and there when he really wanted to see him. Duke just popped up out of nowhere. And it was fine for a brief moment until Duke left again. Then it was more painful than before.

“Just leave,” he said bitter. He didn’t want him here – not today. It would hurt even more afterwards.

“But you said that you needed me.” Duke spread his arms. “Here I am.”

Nathan laughed dryly after he took another sip of the alcoholic liquid. Possibly this would make this hallucination longer and more realistic but Nathan didn’t care. Maybe he would not remember this afterwards and this was something to look forward to.

“Hey, hey, is this my Scotch?” Duke grabbed the bottle and took it away from Nathan. “I know we’re friends sometimes but not this good of friends that I would let you drink my Scotch.”

Nathan didn’t fight at all. He had no power or will for it. Probably he had already drunk enough anyway. “We’re friends?” That’s been the only thing he was hearing.

“You know, sometimes, when it serves me.” Duke shrugged. Always looking out for himself. Nathan didn’t judge him. He had no right to. What he did to Duke you didn’t do to a friend. So sometimes was even more that Nathan was hoping for.

“I miss you.” Since Duke didn’t want to go away he could use this little moment with him.

“Never thought I would hear these words from you, Chief. Are you sick?” Duke drank right out of the bottle and was smirking at him.

“I just … I just miss you, that’s all.” Nathan wanted to touch him but even a hallucination of Duke he couldn’t feel. He had tried. He had tried so many times. “So stay?”

Duke sat down next to Nathan and poured some of the Scotch in his glass. “As long as you want, friend. I’m in your mind anyway so you pull the strings when and where I will leave.”

“Yes, probably.” He didn’t figure that out though. How to keep Duke around. If he had Duke would be there all the time and Nathan wouldn’t care if he was real or not.

“Are you alright, Nate?”

Nathan furrowed his eyebrows. “You are asking me? You are the one who is dead.”

“And you are the one having hallucinations.”

Good point. He was not alright, not at all and Nathan knew this but he didn’t know how to get better. It seemed all so pointless without Duke and Audrey. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah? Really? I doubt that.”

Nathan looked up and saw the worry in Duke’s eyes and it killed him. He should be angry with him. Nathan killed him. He should rage with anger. And there he sat and was worried. “Don’t be like this.”

“How? Concerned?”

“YES!” Nathan was yelling now. “You should be angry. I killed you, Duke. I did this. It’s all my fault. I should have never sent you in that barn to get Audrey. It was selfish of me. And now you are gone, all because of me.” Nathan touched Duke’s shirt and held on to it.

“And yet again, I’m telling you that I’m just in your head. I’m not angry because you don’t want me to be angry with you.”

“I want it. Yell, shout, and hit me. Do something, just anything that will make it better.”

Duke shrugged. “I doubt that you really want that. Probably it is more hurtful to know that I’m okay with it because I still not want to yell at you. Maybe I’m the part of your mind who wants to forgive you, that wants that you forgive yourself.”

Nathan shook his head. “Never. There is no part in me that want to forgive myself. I don’t deserve this.”

“And yet here I am, Nate. In the flesh – more or less. Saying that it is okay to get on with your life, to find peace after all this.” Duke patted his shoulder. “It’s okay to forgive yourself.”

“It’s your birthday,” Nathan whispers. It was the worst day possible to move on and he wouldn’t do it. No matter what his mind wanted to tell him. He didn’t deserve forgiveness. Not today, not ever.

“Then we should celebrate.” Duke smiled at him as if the previous conversation never happened at all. “Drinking game?”

“I think it’s time to leave.” Nathan was tired and didn’t want to talk anymore, didn’t want to see Duke and get reminded of what he had lost. “Just leave me, please.”

Duke looked sad but just shrugged. “Okay, till the next time then.”

“Yeah, till the next time.” Nathan didn’t argue because he knew there would be a next time. He couldn’t stay away from Duke for long until the urge was too strong to need to see him again. But right now he just wanted to be alone again.

And then Duke was just gone, vanished into thin air. Nathan grabbed the bottle of whiskey and left the _Rogue_ with tears in his eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

_[fiore-della-valle](http://fiore-della-valle.tumblr.com/) asked: Duke X Nathan, 3. things you said too quietly?_

* * *

 

“So you actually wanted to leave without saying goodbye?”

Nathan’s voice sounded over the harbor and Duke looked up from his work. He stood up exactly in the moment Nathan jumped uninvited on his boat. “I thought I had.” Duke shrugged with his shoulders.

“You said you would leave town. Nothing more.”

Yeah, this was true but Duke thought it would be enough. There was nothing else to say for Duke. He was stuck with Nathan and he couldn’t do it any longer. He wanted something that Nathan couldn’t give him and it became too painful to be around him. Because Nathan was never the one with many emotions Duke actually thought it would be enough. And on the other hand he was afraid that he would change his mind when he said goodbye properly with explaining everything.

“Will you come back?”

This question came unexpected. Duke hadn’t thought about it. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea but he would see what time would bring. Maybe he met someone else and could forget Nathan. Maybe the time with Nathan would be only a memory someday. And then – who knows – maybe he was able to return to this little town. But “I don’t know” was the only answer he could give at the moment.

Nathan only nodded and stood perfectly still. Duke waited for something else, anything but nothing came so he returned to his work. He wanted to leave today and there were several things he still needed to do. He jumped off the boat and grabbed the box which was standing there. He put them on deck and returned there too. Nathan was still standing there, watching him. Duke knew that he wanted to say something else probably so he let him some time. Nathan sometimes needed that. But he talked in the minute when Duke put the boxes on top of each other and he couldn’t hear a word.

So he turned around. “What did you say? Sorry, didn’t understand it.” Nathan looked suddenly totally broken. His hand was shaking as he came closer.

“I said”, he began and stepped even closer than before. There were only centimeters between them and then there weren’t when Nathan kissed him. It was soft and tender and it felt like a goodbye. Duke could taste the tears from Nathan. “I said be careful”, he finished his sentence after he pulled back. With that he turned around and left the boat.

Duke just stood there and watched Nathan go away. It hurt so badly but he still was convinced that he made the right decision. There was nothing here for him anymore. This kiss was a glimpse of what they had a long time ago. It was only the past and there couldn’t be anything like this again with Nathan.

Duke stood there for several minutes before going back to work. His decision was final and he wouldn’t change his mind. But if Duke had heard Nathan’s silent plea, his shaking voice and the words that came directly from his heart for once, maybe he would have think about it one more time.

Maybe he would have stayed, maybe he would have tried it one last time with Nathan.

If Duke had heard Nathan’s “Don’t go, please” he definitely hadn’t let Nathan leave like this. 


	9. Chapter 9

_[ladysciles](http://ladysciles.tumblr.com/) asked: Nuke + "nighty phone call"_

* * *

 

Nathan startled out of his sleep as he heard his phone ring. He didn’t bother to look on the screen and only answered it. “Wuornos?”

“Hey, Nate,” Duke’s voice rang to his ear. “How are you?”

Nathan straightened up a bit and then realized that he was sitting on the couch. He must have fallen asleep on there. “Tired,” he grumbled. “What do you want?”

“I was just wondering if you have time right now?”

Nathan furrowed his forehead, still trying to get a little more awake. He looked around to the watch. “It’s 3 am, Duke. Can it wait till tomorrow?” He was awake almost for 36 hours straight and he really needed some sleep now. What did Duke even want at 3 in the morning?

“Yeah, yeah, sure, Nathan, no worries. See you then.” He hung up immediately and Nathan just shrugged with his shoulders. He laid his phone back on the couch next to him and stood up. Since he was awake now he could also move to his bed. His body would be grateful even if he wouldn’t notice it.

Briefly he went into the kitchen to get something to drink. He poured a glass of water down his throat before heading to his bedroom. He sat down onto the bed and began to pull of his shoes. He froze at the second one.

Why did Duke call? He never called in the middle of the night, he never called at all unless he wanted something from him and then he directly told Nathan in his annoying way what it was – most of the time something pretty ridiculous what Nathan couldn’t give him.

This phone call earlier was weird. It was nothing like Duke at all. Briefly he thought about calling him back but then shook his head. Duke said it could wait till tomorrow. He would have said something if it was an emergency.

Nathan lay down and closed his eyes. He tried to sleep but the two sentences Duke had spoken to him were wandering through his mind.  _How are you?_ Duke barely asked this and when he did then in a mockery tone and not at all sincere. This one was different. He actually wanted to know. Why?

Ten minutes later Nathan gave up trying to get some sleep and reached for his phone. He didn’t have to wait long until Duke answered the call. “Hey.”

It was only one word but Nathan was sure now that something wasn’t right. “Everything okay?” he asked straight forward.

“Yeah, why shouldn’t it be?”

Nathan rolled his eyes. “Because you called me in the middle of the night. And you asked me how I was?”

Duke chuckled quietly. “Was I too soft?”

“What’s wrong?” Nathan already sat again, ready to put on his shoes and drive over to Duke if it was necessary. His sleep could wait a little longer if Duke needed help.

Duke sighed loudly into his phone. “Sometimes I hate this fucking town and I hate the Troubles.” He sounded frustrated and hurt. “You remember the girl that showed you your biggest fear if you looked at her?”

Nathan swallowed. Of course he remembered. He lost his ability to feel again because he helped her. And what he saw as he looked at her only for a brief second … he didn’t want to see this again. “What about her?” He stayed professional. She was no danger anymore.

“There is someone similar walking around – but no worries, Audrey already helped her. Everything is fixed. She was at the Gull today and caused a big mess.”

“What did she do?” Nathan’s first instinct was to ask again if Duke was okay but he doubted that he would get an honest answer.

“She let you relive your worst moment of your life.”

“Duke.” Nathan ran with his fingers through his hair. He guessed what Duke had seen because Nathan knew how painful it was to see his own father die in front of you. There was nothing worse. “Your father … I’m sorry …”

“It wasn’t him, Nate.”

“What?” Nathan was actually surprised that’s why he didn’t think at all before talking.

“It was the day I left Haven,” Duke told. “It was the day I stood on my boat and looked back to the shore and I saw you standing at the docks. I saw you, Nate, and I kept going. I just left you behind and it was the stupidest thing I have ever done. I can’t even remember why I kept going although it hurt so damn much. But I did and I’m sorry.”

Nathan stayed quiet, not able to say anything. Duke’s worst moment was the day he left? Nathan always thought that he went away without even looking back, without regretting anything. But this was the thing that hurt him the most in all of his life? He couldn’t believe it.

“Nathan?”

This was when Nathan realized he had been quiet for several moments. “I’m sorry, I just-“

“It’s okay, Nate, I just wanted to hear your voice. I will leave you alone now.”

These words were like a knife stabbing into his heart. Definitely Duke hadn’t planned to use these exact same words moment after he talked about the day he left Nathan behind. It was not fair of Duke to remind him about this day and then just leave again. “Don’t.”

“What?”

“Don’t hang up.”  _Don’t leave me alone again._

“Okay, I can do that or I just come over?”

Nathan smiled a little. “This would be nice. See you soon.”


	10. Chapter 10

_[afoxnamedmulder](http://afoxnamedmulder.tumblr.com/) asked: Nathan/Duke (duh) with 51: "You were made to make me hurt"_

* * *

 

If Nathan was honest to himself he had known it for a very long time. Their relationship started with Duke picking on him in first class anyway. Nathan was not even really sure how this became a friendship at all and also something more but it happened. But he shouldn’t be surprised that he got hurt by Duke, over and over again.

It started like that and it would end like that.

His gaze was fixed on the pirate sticker which Duke put there several years ago when Nathan got his car and not on Duke who was sitting right next to him, telling that he would leave town and probably never come back.

“You were made to make me hurt,” came over his lips. Nathan didn’t think about it, for once it was his pure emotions coming to the surface.

“Nathan, this is not fair,” Duke tried to defend himself. “I’m not the only one in this relationship. And  _you_  were the one that arrested me last week!”

“What did you expect from me, Duke? You take me along with you doing your business and I should just stay next to it and pretend I don’t see anything? I’m a cop now, Duke! I can’t just look away anymore.” Nathan was shouting now. He had responsibilities but this was a word that Duke probably didn’t even know. He still thought that he could do whatever he wanted as if they were still kids. “I can’t let you use me!”

“I didn’t want to use you, Nathan.” Duke got quieter. If Nathan wouldn’t know it better he said that he was a little disappointed by these words. “I just – I just wanted to know if it could be like it used to be. Now I know.”

Nathan shook his head unbelievingly. “We can still make it work.”

“No, Nathan. You want me to change but that’s not happening. We won’t work not like you want us to work and I see this now. And there is only one way for me to handle this.”

He wanted to leave, just like that, without even trying. Nathan thought that he knew Duke better but then again he expected this to happen, sooner or later. Duke would hurt him again, like he did in high school and then later at college. Maybe he had hoped Duke had grown up but he had been so wrong.

“Then leave, Duke, I will not hold you back.”

Nathan felt that Duke was staring at him and he turned to him, saw the tears in Duke’s eyes but he didn’t want to let himself be affected by that. “Nathan…”

“No, Duke, maybe you were made to hurt me over and over again but be sure of one thing. You can’t hurt me anymore. Leave and don’t look back because I will neither. We’re done.”

Duke probably got the message because he left the car without another word. Nathan pulled his attention back to the pirate sticker and lost himself in it and in his thoughts before shaking his head violently. He started the engine and drove away angrily.

Duke couldn’t hurt him anymore!


	11. Chapter 11

_[fiore-della-valle](http://fiore-della-valle.tumblr.com/) asked: For your angsty fics: Duke x Nathan, “I’m coming, just sit tight!”_

* * *

 

Duke just closed up the Gull and was heading to his Jeep when his phone rang. He furrowed his brows seeing the caller ID. “Nathan?” It was not common that Nathan called him in the middle of the night. It was not even usual for Nathan to call him during the day although this became more of a habit lately, now that Nathan needed his help sometimes with the newest trouble – or just to ask if Jennifer got something new on Audrey or the barn. Mostly the latest to be honest. But in the middle of the night it would probably be a Trouble. “Did something happen?” he asked.

It took several seconds for Nathan to answer and Duke got a little worried. And then it was only “Duke?”

“Yes?” Duke already got in his car, ready to drive wherever Nathan needed him to be.

“What are you doing in my phone?” The words were slurred which made it pretty obvious why Nathan was so confused about Duke being on the other end. Nathan was drunk.

“You called _me_ , Nate.”

“I didn’t want to.”

How nice of Nathan but Duke didn’t expect something else. Nathan never drank. Of course he drank a couple of beers sometimes but never like this. It was rarely on the level where he spoke mostly openly about what was on his mind. Duke didn’t need to hear how replacable he was to Nathan. “Okay, then I will hang up now.”

“My finger must have slipped. I wanted to call Audrey.”

Duke froze in his movement. “You know she won’t answer, Nate,” he said with a softer voice now.

“I just wanted to hear her voice.” Nathan sounded so heartbroken that Duke knew immediately what he was going to do now. He shook his head, wondering how he could be so stupid, before starting the engine. “I’m coming. Just sit tight!”

 

Several minutes later Duke was knocking on Nathan’s door, waiting for him to open up but there was only a distant voice telling him it was open already. Duke tried the door and actually succeeded to get inside.

He found Nathan in the living room, sitting on the couch, the empty bottle of Scotch right in front of him, also a glass with a little rest still in it. Duke sat down next to Nathan and grabbed the bottle. “You drank this all on your own? You should have called me sooner. I could have helped you with that,” he joked.

“What do you want here?” Nathan’s voice lacked the usual bitter tone. Instead it only sounded sad and tired.

Duke just shrugged. “I figured you could use some company.”

“I don’t. “He emptied the glass and when he tried to put it back on the table it slipped over the edge and broke into several pieces. Nathan’s gaze followed the glass but with a lot slower movement. His reflexes didn’t seem to be at their peak.

“Don’t worry,” Duke said and was already on the floor to pick up the pieces. Nathan only would hurt himself by trying to get rid of the mess. But nevertheless he leaned down and helped Duke with the pieces. He grabbed a big one and sat up straight again. He was eyeing the little piece of glass in his hand before cutting himself with it on his palm.

“Nate, what the hell?” Duke shouted, let the pieces fall to the ground again and grabbed Nathan’s hand. He took the one piece out of Nathan’s grip and examined the injury carefully. “What were you thinking?”

Nathan didn’t say anything and Duke could only shook his head. He collected the pieces again and threw them in a bin. He came back with a wet towel and a first aid kit. He sat down on the table in front of Nathan and took his hand carefully, pressing the towel on the cut. Duke tried to wipe the blood away without touching it with his own hands.

“I don’t feel it,” Nathan said after long silence.

“This doesn’t give you the right to hurt yourself.” Duke was furious and he didn’t try to hide it. Nathan’s self-preservation had been always very low but this was a whole new level to it.

“She made it easier.”

Duke’s gaze went up briefly, looking Nathan right in the eyes. He always wondered how much of Nathan’s affection for Audrey came from the fact that he could feel her. Nathan was always totally numb, feeling nothing at all. Now it’s been over half a year again where Nathan didn’t feel the slightest of anything. It had to drive him insane or it did – at least Nathan was testing his feelings again in the most awful way. “We will bring her back,” Duke assured him. He missed Audrey too and he wouldn’t give up until he did everything in his power to find her. For Audrey and for Nathan. “And then you can touch her again and everything will be good.”

“Duke?” Nathan pulled his hand back when Duke was finished treating his wound. “It’s not only because I can feel her. It’s because I love her and this gives me meaning. I know there is something worth living for – even with this affliction.”

Duke bit his bottom lip and tried to hide the pain he was feeling. He hated drunken Nathan – Nathan who was completely honest and said all the things Duke didn’t want to hear at all. Normally Duke could pretend that he didn’t see Nathan’s obsession with Audrey, that he still thought that Nathan somehow cared for him too but right now it was very hard to persuade himself.

“Come on, Nathan, let’s bring you to bed.” He pulled Nathan up and lead him to his bedroom. He helped Nathan out of his shoes and wanted to push him onto the bed but Nathan refused to lie down.

“You know, you make it easier too, Duke.”

Duke’s eyes widened and he was searching for the joke on Nathan’s face but he seemed totally honest. “You always are so careful around me. You always make sure that I can see you or that my coffee is not too hot. You help me.”

Duke shook his head. “Nothing special.”

“Why is this,” Nathan pointed with his finger at Duke and then at himself, “so complicated? Why can’t it be like before?”

“It happened a lot, Nate, you should know that. It’s not so easy to just go back and forget everything. And besides we were drunk most of the times,” Duke mentioned with a smile. He didn’t want to talk about the past because it was something they weren’t able to fix as it seemed. And with Audrey between them everything got a whole lot more complicated. Duke even doubted that there was something they could go back to. It was so long ago and they changed – both of them.

Nathan giggled and shrugged. “I’m drunk right now.”

“True but unfortunately I’m not and I doubt that it would work when only one of us-“ He was cut off by Nathan who was pressing his lips on Duke’s. It happened so fast that Duke was totally surprised and didn’t know how to react. Out of instinct he just went along, allowing Nathan to pull him closer before realizing what actually happened right now. He pushed Nathan gently away. “Stop, Nathan.”

Nathan pouted. “Why?”

“Because you are drunk so it’s definitely not the right time.” God, Duke had wished for something like that for ages but he couldn’t do this although he definitely would regret his decision later. It wasn’t fair to Nathan. He probably wasn’t even aware of what he was doing right now. “And you don’t really want me, Nate. I’m just here and you need _someone_.”

Nathan shook his head. “No, that’s not true.”

Duke sighed and pushed Nathan onto the bed, this time with more strength so that Nathan couldn’t fight it. “Just sleep.”

Nathan probably wouldn’t remember any of this in the next morning. Damn, he wouldn’t even have a hangover. Duke wished he would have the same luck because remembering this would hurt like hell in the next days. He turned around when Nathan grabbed his wrist.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

“It’s okay, Nate. Everything’s fine.”

“I just want you to understand. I want Audrey back. I _want_ her so badly.” Duke really wished Nathan would just stop talking. He didn’t even realize how much he hurt Duke with his words. “It was Audrey for so long now that’s why it didn’t make sense and I didn’t understand so I never said anything.” Nathan’s words got slower because he slowly started to fall asleep. His eyes were closing and Duke leaned down to be able to hear him better. “I want Audrey but I want you too, Duke.” And with that Nathan was asleep.

Duke slid down on the floor, leaning against the bed. He couldn’t quite believe what he just heard and the worst part would be that Nathan wouldn’t remember anything and probably deny everything he just said.

Nathan was right. Why did it have to be so complicated?


	12. Chapter 12

_[nathancrocker](http://nathancrocker.tumblr.com/) asked: Nuke + 47 "No one needs to know."_

* * *

Duke sat on the wooden bench at the edge of the woods, looking down the cliff onto the sea. He loved this view and it could always make him calmer but not today. He was nervously tapping his right leg. His thoughts went back one day, only a couple of hours back, and he was wondering if he had ruined everything now.

Now with a clear and sober mind Duke was terrified what this whole thing could mean for their friendship. He _knew_  Nathan and he knew that he would probably even freak out more than Duke did right now.

This morning he found himself walking over to Nathan’s house but stopped at the thought that the Chief would be there and this would make everything a whole lot worse. So Duke finally went here, their meeting spot for emergencies. And this was an emergency, right?

At least Duke was convinced it was. It could be the end of their friendship. This was not only an emergency but a big disaster.

Duke was sitting there for over two hours before he heard noises behind him as Nathan approached. Duke couldn’t fight the relieved smile that appeared on his face. He was just so glad that Nathan had shown up. But he kept quiet until Nathan was sitting and for several more minutes although this was really hard for Duke. He just didn’t want to say something wrong and to be honest he wasn’t sure where Nathan and he were standing right now. It would be better to give Nathan some time to start talking, to let him wrap his head around things.

“We should probably talk,” Nathan finally said and Duke nodded.

“Listen, Nate. No one needs to know.” Duke wanted to make things clear. They were drunk, really really drunk. “Especially not the Chief.”

Nathan raised his head and furrowed his brows. “That’s not-“ Nathan didn’t finish his sentence and went quiet again.

“Sure? You ran yesterday, mumbling that the Chief would kill you. You ran away right after or right in the middle of-“ Duke couldn’t say it. If he said it the kiss would be real and he didn’t want it to be if it meant that Duke had ruined everything.

Nathan just stared at him and although it was so easy for Duke to read his minds on a normal basis Duke had no clue what Nathan was thinking in this moment and it terrified him. “Listen, it doesn’t have to mean anything. We were both drunk and the evening didn’t go as planned for both of us and it just happened, okay? I don’t want you to think – I don’t want it to be awkward between us. It never happened!”

Duke would hate to forget about this kiss but if it meant that he could keep Nathan he would never mention it again.

Nathan looked him deep in the eyes and suddenly shook his head. “I don’t want this.”

Duke’s heart stopped for a second and panic rose inside of him. Had he shoved Nathan away now? Were they done now? “I’m sorry, Nate, please. We can forget this. I will never mention it again and it will never happen again. I promise.” Duke didn’t care that he sounded totally desperate now because he needed Nathan. In which way it didn’t matter. He just  _needed_  him.

“No, you don’t understand, Duke. I don’t want to  _forget_.” Nathan swallowed and took a deep breath. “I didn’t realize it before and maybe I was blind or stupid but I like you, Duke, I like you a lot.”

Duke’s heart stopped again but this time in a more pleasant way than before. And then it was pounding like crazy. A smile formed on his lips and he just laughed out loud, joy and relief hitting him.

“So you-?” Nathan sounded so unsure and Duke just wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. “Yes, totally yes.” Nathan relaxed against his body, his breathing steadied slowly and it felt so good. Duke pulled back a little, looking into his eyes before bringing their lips back together again. It felt different than the night before, more real and certain.

Finally they parted again and Duke could see the bright smile on Nathan’s face and it warmed his heart.

“One request tho,” Nathan mumbled while stroking over Duke’s cheek.

“Anything, Nate. What is it?”

Nathan chuckled quietly. “I think you were right. We should keep this a secret from the Chief.”

“Good point. I’m not sure if he would actually kill you but he would definitely kill me.”

“Don’t want this to happen,” Nathan whispered, pulling Duke closer again for another kiss.

 


	13. Chapter 13

_[@fiore-della-valle](http://tmblr.co/mGYW1aAbkTlR-BUxH7_GUDw) requested: Nuke + “I wish I could hate you.”_

* * *

“Seriously, Nathan?” Duke smashed against the bars of the cell, not caring anymore to hide his rage. This was the fourth time in two weeks that he landed in jail without doing anything, at least not what Nathan tried to convict him for. “Tomorrow I will be walking free again and you know that. So why the effort?”

“I _know_ what you are doing, Duke.”

“Knowing is no evidence.” Duke was so done with Nathan. He wasn’t even sure what happened. After he got back to town they had this huge fight and since then Nathan was even colder than anytime ever. They had bad fights but it had never been like this and Duke hated the fact that Nathan was still not able to communicate properly. No, he had to arrest him every few days to get revenge.

“I will find some. Sooner or later.” He was dead serious. Duke could hear it in his voice and he could see it in his eyes. Resentment and hate radiated from him which stabbed Duke right in the heart.

“You know what, Nathan? Sometimes I wish I could hate you. As easily as you hate me.” Nathan could hold a grudge for years and right now it seemed that they would never be anything like friends or associates again. Nathan hated him and Duke didn’t even know why. And this made Duke furious because if Nathan would just open his mouth they could talk about it, maybe even get past it but Nathan was always convinced that you have to read minds if you wanted to be friends.

“You give me good reasons.” Angrily Nathan turned around, heading to the door but Duke wouldn’t let him go so easily. He put his arm through the bars and grabbed Nathan at his lower arm. Nathan turned around again but only as he wasn’t able to take another step forward.

Duke’s eyes widened when it hit him. “You can’t feel.” When did this happen? Was it fresh or had it been the whole time? Was it before Duke had come back to town? If so he didn’t notice until now and he felt utterly guilty about it. He went quiet and took a step back from the bars, his gaze directed to the floor.

“Don’t pretend as if you would care.” Nathan believed it. He actually believed that Duke wouldn’t care at all about Nathan’s situation. He was convinced that Duke was still this selfish little kid and although he still was in a certain way he had always tried to not be when it came to Nathan.

“Nate, I-“

“Just shut up,” Nathan interrupted him harshly and turned around again.

This time Duke let him go and looking after him he actually wished he could hate Nathan because then it wouldn’t hurt so damn much. If he would hate him he wouldn’t care – about his affliction or about what he was thinking of him. Everything would be a lot easier if he could only _hate_ Nathan.


	14. Chapter 14

_prompt:  Imagine Person A of your OTP walking into the kitchen, only to find Person B in tears. Person A immediately rushes to Person B’s side, fretting over them, consoling and asking what happened. Surprised, Person B explains they were simply cutting onions._

* * *

Okay, this was new. This was very new. No, this was fucking weird. Nathan didn’t cry. Never. The only time Duke actually saw Nathan crying was when his mother died and even back then he had tried to hide it. So there were two options. The first one was that someone died but Duke had just talked to Audrey who had been with Nathan the entire day. She would have mentioned something.

The second and more logical explanation was that it was a Trouble.

Nathan had been hit by a Trouble and was now over-emotional or something like that.

Cautiously Duke approached him, didn’t want to startle him, not now when he could break down on the floor, in tears, totally overwhelmed. “Hey, Nate, you’re okay?”

Nathan looked up, startled and confused.

“It’s okay, everything is okay.” Duke put a hand on his forearm and made sure that the movement was caught by Nathan’s eyes. “I know it doesn’t seem like it at the moment but it will be better, I promise.” Oh my god, Duke was so bad at dealing with Troubles. He was so bad at dealing with a crying Nathan.

“What are you talking about, Duke?” Nathan furrowed his brows and wiped over his face with a tissue. He eyed him suspiciously. “Are you okay?”

“Seriously? You are the one who is crying here.”

“And you are acting weird. Was this your try at comforting me?” Nathan gave him an amused smirk. “This was bad.”

“Hey,” Duke protested. He knew that but he wouldn’t admit that. He just was trying to help. Nathan shouldn’t laugh at him. “You just don’t cry, okay?”

Nathan’s smirk formed into a grin and then he starting laughing.

Duke crossed his arms sulkily. “Stop that. I should laugh about you. You were crying. Why did you anyway?”

“Oh, I-” Nathan began and pointed at something behind him and then turned to Duke again and there was a little bit of red on his cheeks. Duke smiled triumphantly. Now he got him. “I just wanted to make dinner and was cutting the onions.”

“You were-” Duke stopped and looked past Nathan where a big pot was standing on the stove plate and a half cutted onion lay on a chopping board. This was kind of cute. Nathan never cooked for him.

But Duke wouldn’t admit that! Not after Nathan laughed at him.

“Come on, I’ll show you a trick with the onion,” he said however. Maybe he wouldn’t speak highly about Nathan for doing something like that but he still needed to thank him because this was really thoughtful. And this was Duke’s way of doing so. “It’s easy.” Duke took Nathan by the wrist and pulled him next to him, shoving the knife into his hand. “Just breathe through your mouth while cutting. Or take a little water into your mouth, this helps as well.”

“Thanks,” Nathan mumbled, smiled and started cutting again, highly focused on his breathing.

Duke took a step back and just watched Nathan. Okay, this was not weird after all but it was definitely new.


	15. Chapter 15

 

_[lastyearsmodel](http://lastyearsmodel.tumblr.com/) asks: Duke rescuing a puppy who fell into a lake and Nathan complaining he got wet (sounded better in my head i hope you get that)_

 

* * *

 

“Duke, what the hell?” Nathan exclaimed when Duke was already pushing past him and just entered the house.

“Your house was the closest,” Duke gave as explanation.

“You’re soaking wet!” Nathan shouted and followed him into the living room. “My dad will kill me. Especially if you are still here when he comes back.”

“Please, your father is never home, Nate.” Duke shrugged and kneeled down onto the carpet. “And it’s an emergency.”

Only now Nathan realized that Duke was holding something in his arm. At first he thought it was only his jacket but now it was moving. Duke loosened his grip and a little puppy was fighting his way out of the jacket. It was wet as well. And immediately ran through the entire living room.

“Thank god, he is okay,” Duke muttered relieved.

“He is destroying the furniture,” Nathan complained loudly.

“Yeah but he is okay,” Duke said again and smiled broadly. And Nathan couldn’t be mad with him if he was smiling like that. So he just sat down next to Duke.

“What happened?”

“He fell into the lake.”

“So you just dived in after him.” This was so Duke even if he tried to appear as a guy who didn’t care.

Duke shrugged, planted his head on his knees and watched the dog jumping around. Nathan smiled at this scene, got up and fetched a towel which he laid over Duke’s shoulders. “You will help me clean up this mess, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know that,” Duke sighed but still grinned like a lunatic.

So Nathan flopped down again, leaning on to Duke and watched the little puppy play with the pillows from the couch. “And you know that dogs can swim, right?”


	16. Chapter 16

_[lastyearsmodel](https://lastyearsmodel.tumblr.com/) asked: "Just don't fuck it up"_

* * *

 

 

Duke grabbed Nathan’s arm again and stopped him one last time. “Just don’t fuck it up.”

“Very encouraging, Duke, thanks,” Nathan mumbled, obviously very nervous. He balanced from one foot to the other.

“I just mean, Hannah digs you, a lot, but it’s you. I know you, Nate. You can fuck it up even with the way you approach her.”

“Again. Not helping!”

“I just want the best for you, make sure that you know your weaknesses. All of them. So that you’ll make no mistake when talking to her.”

“You are a dick!” Nathan said and freed himself out of Duke’s grip. “I can do this. It’s just one question.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Go!” Duke patted him on the back for a final encouragement and watched Nathan leave, heading directly to Hannah at the end of the hall.

Nathan was right though. Duke was a dick. He planted all this fear and tension in Nathan just to have the tiny little chance that Hannah didn’t want to go with Nathan when he was acting all shy and insecure.

It was a dick move.

Duke should have just told him that he wanted to go with Nathan to the prom. It would have been easier.

But Duke was too big of a coward for that.

Being a dick was way easier.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between season 3 and 4

_[wolvesinwinter](http://wolvesinwinter.tumblr.com/) asked: Nuke + “how about a hug, hm?”_

* * *

 

 

Duke and Audrey were gone, trapped in the barn when it exploded.

They were gone. And this wasn’t even the worst part.

Nathan was haunted by them, not just in his dreams. They came to him when his mind was only half conscious after taken some beatings to gain money.

Today it was Duke.

“They got you pretty bad there, Nate, huh?”

“Shut up,” Nathan mumbled and pressed a pack of ice against his jawline. Not for easing the pain - he hadn’t felt anything in two months - just for precaution. He didn’t want to be all black and blue the next morning.

“Back to your old charm again. Why am I not surprised?” Duke walked through the room and Nathan swore that he heard the sound of Duke’s steps. He closed his eyes and forced this noise to disappear. This wasn’t real. “The last time you talked to me at least.”

Nathan opened his eyes again, let his gaze wander over to Duke, followed his movements and wished he would just disappear for good. He couldn’t take this anymore. “I don’t want to talk.”

Duke suddenly stopped. “We don’t need to. How about a hug, mh?” He spread his arms as an invitation. Nathan was actually tempted to stand up, to try to hug him. Maybe something good came from these halluzinations. Maybe he could imagine to _feel_ him as well. He could hear him, almost smell him. Feelings shouldn’t be too hard.

“Come on, Nate.” Duke waved with his fingers. And Nathan let the pack of ice fall to the floor, jumped up and lunged forward. He expected to fall right through to Duke because of his non-existence. He prepared to find himself on the floor.

It was still heart crushing when it actually happened. He hit the floor with his fist and shouted as loud as he could, hoping it would help with the pain and guilt. It didn’t.

“Remind me never to try this again unless it’s the real you,” Nathan whispered when he crawled back to his bed. But he stayed on the floor, just leaned against it.

Duke kneeled down. “Come on, Nate. That’s not gonna happen and you know it.”

“I know.” His voice cracked and he noticed his vision blur, probably from tears in his eyes. “ _I know._ ”


	18. Chapter 18

_[afoxnamedmulder](http://afoxnamedmulder.tumblr.com/) asked: “okay it was me… so?”_

* * *

 

 

Duke leaned back in the chair, wanted to throw his hands in the air which wasn’t possible due to the fact that they were cuffed to the table. “Okay it was me … so?”

“So?” Nathan put as much anger in this one single word as he could. “So? It’s illegal, Duke.”

“I’m not a good boy, Nate. Don’t pretend you didn’t know that.”

Nathan went quiet for a moment, looked over to the door of the little interrogation room as if he was afraid that someone could burst in right this second. “I’m a cop now, Duke,” he calmed his voice. “You can’t just do stuff like that when I stand next to you.”

“I thought we were friends first.”

Of course they were friends but things had changed. Nathan wasn’t the naive teenager anymore, he couldn’t just tag along with Duke. But Nathan still wanted to be friends. They just needed to find a way. “We are,” Nathan said therefor.

Duke just huffed. “Doesn’t look like it.”

Nathan opened his mouth but shut it again when he noticed Duke’s challenging glare in his eyes. “This was a test?” he asked stunned. Nathan couldn’t believe it. He knew that Duke was not at all thrilled that Nathan had chosen to become a cop but this was low.

Duke didn’t answer to that but he didn’t need to. Nathan fished for his keys and opened the handcuffs. “Go,” he said coldly. “Just go.”


	19. Chapter 19

_[afoxnamedmulder](http://afoxnamedmulder.tumblr.com/) asked: “who the hell did this to you?”_

* * *

 

 

Duke hissed when Nathan touched Duke’s head with a wet cloth to remove the blood. Nathan’s grip around the cloth tightened at the sound. “Who the hell did this to you?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Duke mumbled and took another sip of his scotch.

“It does to me,” Nathan almost said but forced his mouth to keep shut. Duke had been beaten up badly. Blood and dirt was everywhere on his face and hair. And Nathan hated to see him like that.

“I’m a cop now. I can do something,” Nathan offered instead. He just needed an official report from Duke.

“Just forget about it, Nate. It’s okay.”

It wasn’t. Duke sat in front of him, all bloody. This was not okay. “Why won’t you tell me who did this?”

“Because if I tell you who did this and why, you have to arrest me too. And honestly I would love to sleep in my own bed tonight instead of sleeping in a cell.”

At once Nathan stopped in his motion, his hand froze, and he just stared at Duke incredulously.

“It’s okay, Nate, really,” Duke assured casually.

Nathan shook his head. “It isn’t. Look at you.”

Duke grinned. “You should see the others.”

“Duke!”

“Nathan, please just stop. If we want this to work we can’t talk about everything. I don’t want to put you into the position where you have to choose between me and your career. And I don’t want you to arrest me either. Just let us not talk about it and keep going, okay?”

Nathan opened his mouth and shut it again. He shook his head slightly and kept working on removing Duke’s blood from his face. “Just be more careful the next time.”

“I’ll do my best.” Duke grinned again and Nathan couldn’t stop a smile spreading on his lips.


	20. Chapter 20

_[@fiore-della-valle](https://tmblr.co/mGYW1aAbkTlR-BUxH7_GUDw): “Do you know what you’ve done?”_

* * *

 

 

“Do you know what you’ve done?” Nathan barged into the Gull, voice harsh, steps rushed. 

Duke took it easy, with a mild shrug of his shoulders. “Something that is not Nathan approved I assume?”

“You!” Nathan pointed his finger at Duke and Duke only chuckled. This was normally his way of accusing people and not Nathan’s. Nathan’s tactic was folding his arms and brooding silently until the other one confessed whatever he had done. 

“Me?” Duke pointed at himself.

“Don’t play with me, Duke,” Nathan warned. “You know what you have done.” 

“Actually, Nate, no I don’t. I mean I love ruining your day and I’m pretty proud of myself doing it without knowing but I really have no idea what you are talking about.” 

“You don’t?” Nathan put his arm down, bewildered. 

“No, Nathan, I really don’t know what you mean. And you are acting very strangely. Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, just forget about it,” Nathan said and then mumbled something which Duke didn’t understand because it was too quiet. He was fumbling with his hands too, then just turned around and walked out of the bar. 

Duke could only stare after him with an open mouth. After a while he just shrugged and kept cleaning the bar.

Just a normal day in Haven!


	21. Chapter 21

_prompt:  Nuke + “I’m your friend, of course I fucking care.”_

* * *

 

 

Nathan pushed him away with strong arms and Duke was actually surprised that he had so much strenght left. He looked like hell swallowed him and then spit him out again because he was too salty.

“I just want to help,” Duke barked and tried again to take a step forward.

“I can do this on my own. I can’t feel it!” As if he wanted to prove his theory he started stumbling to his Bronco which stood a few meters away on the side of the road.

Maybe he couldn’t feel but his body knew exactly how hurt and broken it was, so only after two steps Nathan lost his balance. With a quick movement Duke was next to him and supported Nathan.

“Don’t pretend as if you would care,” Nathan spit out, trying to push him away again.

“I’m your friend, of course I fucking care,” Duke shouted frustrated and almost let Nathan go, just out of spite. “You are the one that doesn’t trust me, remember? You are the one that thinks that I will turn into a killing maching. You hate me! That doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you anymore. You are still my friend and I don’t like to see you hurt. So let me help you.”

Nathan remained silent and Duke wondered if it was because of what he just said or if he was just too tired to start an argument now. Nathan also leaned more into him. Could be just the fact that he didn’t notice as well, with all the not-feeling-problem, but it could also be a way of Nathan to say that he was sorry or something like that.

Duke shook his head slightly, while maneuvering Nathan to his car, and warned himself not to read too much into this gesture. Tomorrow when he was all fixed up, Nathan would ban Duke to the sidelines again, pretending to have never known him at all and to believe what everyone other thought as well.

Duke tried not to show how much this hurt. He had never really cared what others thought. Only Nathan’s opinion was important to him.

Now Nathan believed him to be a killer and sometimes in his weak moments Duke thought that he was maybe right, that he was always meant to be this.

If Nathan was so sure how could Duke argue with him?

“Thanks,” Nathan mumbled almost inaudible when Duke put him in the Bronco.

Duke blinked two times, not sure if he heard right. “Did Nathan Wuornos just say thanks?”

“Shut up and drive,” Nathan grumbled and put the keys of the car in Duke’s hand.

Duke grinned, rounded the car and got in behind the wheel.

The car drive was quiet and Duke shot worried looks over to Nathan again and again. He wouldn’t notice how bad it really was.

“I’m fine,” Nathan said after a while. “I can still think clearly, only my movements are stiff, probably broken ribs or something.”

Duke nodded, not entirely convinced, but he forced his gaze back onto the road. It was silent once more until Nathan spoke, “About what I said earlier.”

“Don’t bother, Nate. I will leave you alone as soon as I drop you off at the hospital.”

“No, this is not what I mean.” Nathan took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, didn’t mean to be so rude.”

“Just now or in general?” Because this earlier was just a little taste of how Nathan had been treating him over the last few weeks.

“It was not fair to treat you like this.”

“Look, Nathan, if you don’t want to be my friend, fine, I can live with that. I can live with you hating me, I have for a long time. And I mostly deserved it anyway. But this now - it’s a Trouble. You help the Troubled. You help fucking strangers with their problems, praise that they can’t help themselves for what happened to them. And me? You just act like it’s my own damn fault but I didn’t ask for this. I don’t want this.”

Nathan didn’t react to this, so Duke just kept going, “Like every other person in this town I was cursed. But I am the only one you blame for that. I know we have a history. I know I’ve screwed up many times and that you have all the right to be suspicious but it’s not fair. You help all those people and you don’t even try to help me. You haven’t even talked to me before you made your own mind and decided that I was a threat. I had no chance to tell you how much I hate this Trouble. I never wanted to be like my father and now I am.”

Duke stopped his rambling, let all his anger and frustration out, probably even said already too much. Now it was Nathan’s turn but he was still quiet. Immediately panic rose in Duke and he blinked to the side. Still open eyes, still breathing.

“Nathan?” he asked therefore to get his attention.

“You are right. I should have talked to you,” Nathan admitted. “But we were never good in talking, were we?”

Duke chuckled. “Maybe not. But we could have at least tried before hating each other again.”

“I don’t hate you, Duke, never have. I tried to act like it-”

“You made a pretty good job with it.”

“You’re nothing like your father,” Nathan said out of the blue. “This Trouble doesn’t make you like him. Doesn’t make me like my father either.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not so sure. Both of you tried to kill me at one point,” Duke chuckled, not serious at all.

Nathan smiled weakly. “How far to the hospital?”

“Two minutes max. Why?”

“Vision starts to blur. Maybe not only broken ribs,” Nathan admitted and Duke automatically put down his foot on the gas pedal even more. When Nathan Wuornos was not lying about his condition it had to be bad.

“There,” Duke shouted the moment the car stopped. He jumped out immediately and got Nathan out of the car. He called for help when they set foot inside and at once a nurse with a wheelchair came running from the side.

Nathan smiled at her. “The usual check up, Miranda,” he said as if it was something he did every week. Probably he even did. Before he was rolled away Nathan grabbed Duke’s wrist to get his attention. “When I’m all fixed up we talk, okay?”


	22. Chapter 22

_[@fiore-della-valle](https://tmblr.co/mGYW1aAbkTlR-BUxH7_GUDw) requested: “You’re either with me or against me!”_

* * *

 

 

“You’re either with me or against me!”

“With you, Nate, all the way with you,” Duke was quick to assure, especially when he noticed how Nathan’s hand was reaching for his gun.

The tension in Nathan’s body faded and he relaxed visibly. He sighed relieved. “Good.”

“Yeah, good,” Duke chuckled a little nervous. “Can I help you perhaps?”

Duke was almost used to it by now that Nathan showed up on his boat, crazy from some weird Trouble and wanted to kill him. This time it had been easy to calm Nathan down but Duke didn’t want to risk that therefore another had to suffer instead.

Nathan shrugged. “If you want to tag along. Everyone got crazy in this town.”

Yeah, sure, everyone. Duke could only see one person. Nathan seemed a little paranoid. So better stay close and prevent Nathan from doing anything he would regret later.

The next person they ran into was Vince.

“Are you with me or against me?” Nathan asked after he called Vince to get his attention.

The old man was not as quick as Duke to assess the situation, probably didn’t even notice Nathan’s weird behaviour. “Ehm, what?” he asked confused.

Uh, wrong question. Nathan’s hand shot to his gun and with a quick movement it was aimed straight at Vince. “You are one of them!” he shouted.

“Nathan, what are you talking about?” Vince seemed unusal calm for the fact that he was threatened by a gun, Duke thought, before he grabbed Nathan’s wrist, pushed it down and smashed his elbow right in Nathan’s face. The impact let Nathan stumble back two steps and his grip around the gun loosened so that Duke could take it.

“Calm down, will you?” he warned Nathan who wiped away the blood on his face. Duke only hoped he didn’t break Nathan’s nose. He would not hear the end of it.

“You said you were on my side,” Nathan shouted and ran straight at him. It was easy for Duke to punch Nathan again. He was uncoordinated and clearly not thinking straight. Yet again he stumbled backwards.

“Oh, I am, Nate,” Duke assured him. “You can thank me later for this.”

“Duke, what is going on?” Vince wanted to know.

“If I knew I would probably not beat up the Chief of police but solve what is wrong with him. Right now I only know that he is acting crazy and someone needs to stop him.”

“I will call Audrey!”

“Good idea,” Duke commented while dealing with Nathan who came rushing at him once more. This time his movements were more elaborate and tactile. Duke had to concentrate to not lose to this crazy version of Nathan. Somehow he was able to grab his arm, twist it on his back and took Nathan’s handcuffs. With a little flip he put them on Nathan’s wrists.

“Duke, Duke,” Nathan complained and fought against the strong grip.

“Yeah, I know, I’m bad.”

“No, I’m good again.”

Duke raised his eyebrows, not so sure. Paranoid Nathan would probably say anything to get out of the cuffs again. Better not take a risk.

“You can get them off me.”

“Nah, can’t really do that, Nathan, not until I’m sure you don’t want to kill me or Vince or anyone else.”

“I don’t, I swear.” This was one hundred percent the old Nathan, Duke was sure now. Paranoid Nathan had been direct and not really clever. He was more the shoot first, ask later type of guy. He wouldn’t have been so smart to play tricks with him. Also there was something in Nathan’s tone that convinced Duke. Still, why not have a little more fun?

“Can’t really trust you right now, Nate, sorry.”

“You are enjoying this.” Nathan glared at him.

“Oh, yes, I do.” Duke grinned widely. This was too good. Duke would never have dreamed of cuffing Nathan one day. He would not give up this one opportunity.

“You know I’m me again!”

“I’m pretty sure, you are, yes. But still, I can’t take the risk. You understand, don’t you?”

“Duke,” Nathan warned him with a cold voice. “Just let me go.”

“What would you do, Nathan? Just trust me and uncuff me the moment I swear I’m a good boy again?” Duke whispered into his ears now and Nathan went totally still in his grip, probably realizing that he wouldn’t. “Gotcha.”  

“Then call Audrey. She probably solved this Trouble, didn’t she? She can confirm that it’s me again.”

“She probably can. Sadly I left my phone back on the Rouge,” Duke said and hoped that Vince would have no success in reaching Audrey. Nathan could suffer a few more minutes. It wouldn’t harm him in the slightest.

“I can’t get through,” Vince shouted over to them and Duke’s grin got wider. This was good, yes, this was so good. Unfortunately Nathan’s own phone rang in this moment. Dammit, Duke thought, and had no argument not to take this call.

“Nathan?” Audrey’s voice asked directly.

“No, sorry, I have to disappoint,” Duke greeted her.

“Is he okay?”

Duke looked at Nathan, considering this question. “A little grumpier than usual, maybe a broken nose - this would be my bad - but mostly fine.”

“My nose is broken?” Nathan exlaimed and Duke had to hide his smile. Duke was pretty sure it wasn’t but it was too much fun to play with Nathan right now.

“You heard that?” he asked Audrey.

“Just bring him to a hospital to check this out,” she ordered and cut the line.

“Heard that?” Duke turned to Nathan again. “She didn’t say anything about the fact that you are you again. Not sure if I can take these cuffs off.”

“Duke!” Another warning and Duke was pretty sure if he would keep this up even longer he would spend the night in a cell.

So he searched for the keys in Nathan’s pockets and freed Nathan from his restraints. “Alright, alright.”

Nathan snapped the cuffs out of Duke’s hands as if he was afraid that Duke would try to do this again. “This was not funny.”

“Oh, it was a little bit,” Duke chuckled.

Then Nathan came closer and whispered, “Is my nose really broken?”

Duke almost laughed out lout but could stop himself just so. “Your nose is fine,” he assured Nathan. “But maybe we should stop by the hospital nevertheless. I hit you pretty hard. Just to be sure.”

Nathan didn’t look like he was in the mood for a hospital visit but still nodded in the end. Probably he didn’t want to face Audrey’s wrath. Duke could totally relate to that. He only was so determined to drag Nathan there because Audrey had commanded it. She was terrifying sometimes. So they walked back to the pier to get to Nathan’s car, and just left Vince standing there without any explanation. Duke was not guilty in the slightest about that.

Before they got in the car Nathan stopped in his motion and turned around. “Duke?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for stopping me.”

Duke smiled gently. “Of course. If you need to get beaten up and cuffed again I’ll glady volunteer.”

“I’m serious,” Nathan protested and actually pouted a little.

“Oh, I am too. I am very serious.”

Nathan rolled his eyes, shook his head and got into the car without another comment. “Especially with the cuffing,” Duke kept going, his voice louder now so that Nathan would still here him over the sound of the shutting door and the engine he immediately started. He almost already drove away before Duke could actually jump in the car.

“No, seriously, Nathan, anytime,” Duke said now a lot more sincere. “I couldn’t just let you shoot people like a crazy person.”

Nathan nodded. “I’m just glad you noticed that something was wrong so quickly and said that you were on my side.”

“Yes, I realized it pretty soon but this answer came naturally, Nate,” Duke admitted. “I will always be on your side, no matter what.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time there will be two prompts in this chapter because they belong together.  
> And also a warning for temporary character death if this should bug you in any way.

_Nicky requested: Nuke + “Damn it, Duke! You self-sacrificing pain in my ass!”_

 

_[@fiore-della-valle](https://tmblr.co/mGYW1aAbkTlR-BUxH7_GUDw) requested: Nuke + “One day, you’re gonna have to tell me how you know that.”_

* * *

 

 

With a heavy breath Nathan slammed the door shut behind him.

“Welcome to level 5,” a female voice sounded over them. Nathan wanted to punch this computer voice in her non existent face but luckily they had only one level left. One level they could do. He took a few steps and looked at their next challenge.

It was a rocky area with moving platforms that were sliding up and down and right and left, and giant stones that fell from the sky. He loved jump and run games as a kid. Now not so much anymore. “Okay, let’s do this,” he said way more enthusiastically than he felt.

“I’m afraid you have to do this alone, Nate.”

Nathan frowned confused and turned around to Duke. “Why?” he asked.

Duke smirked half heartedly. “I’m not feeling so hot.” When he tried to take a step, he stumbled, held on the rocky wall next to him but fell to the ground nevertheless.

“Duke!” Nathan rushed forward to catch his friend but Duke was already on the ground. “What is it?”

“I may have been hit,” he mumbled while Nathan helped him into a sitting position and only now he saw the stain of blood that was darkening Duke’s shirt.

“When?” A rush of anger swept over him and it was clearly to hear in his voice.

Duke coughed. “Level 3.”

“Level 3?” Nathan’s voice rose. “Are you insane? Why didn’t you tell me, Duke?”

“We needed to get going. We needed to get out of here.”

“Damn it, Duke, you self-sacrificing pain in my ass,” Nathan grumbled annoyed, the worry clear in his voice.

Duke leaned his head against the wall, his eyes started to lose focus.

Shit! Duke was way too pale, and he was sweating. Nathan cupped his cheek. “Hey, stay with me, okay? It’s only one more level. We can do that.” Nathan had not the faintest idea how he should get Duke through this hell hole of jumps and right timing but he wouldn’t just leave him behind, not like this.

“You can do it, Nate. You were always good in these games.”

Nathan chuckled. “If I remember right you always beat me. What did you tell me? It’s all about right timing and quick reflexes. You still have those.”

“Not right now. Nate, I can barely walk anymore. I can’t jump and climb. You have to finish this alone.”

Nathan shook his head. “I’m not leaving you here.”

“Nate-” Duke coughed again and Nathan noticed with fear that there were some drops of blood in Duke’s hand now. Coughing blood was not a good sign. “It’s like in Mario. If one gets to the finish line, both are there, right? You just have to go and I will be there, all good and new.”

Nathan wasn’t so sure it could work like that. Mario and Luigi were part of this game, Duke and Nathan weren’t. He was afraid if he tried his luck to get to the finish that Duke wouldn’t be there in the end, and that he just abandoned him.

“You can’t do anything else,” Duke whispered.

Nathan hated that Duke was right. He couldn’t just carry him, not through this kind of terrain and Duke hadn’t the strength to walk on his own. There was no other way than to leave him if he wanted to help him. “I will come back if you aren’t there,” Nathan promised. “I will come back for you.”

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Nathan reached for the doorknob with shaky hands.

_He’ll be there. I won. He’ll be there. He will be totally fine. He’ll be there_ , Nathan repeated in his head over and over again. With a final encouraging breath he walked through the door … and was back in his office. Audrey was standing at her desk, the troubled man sat on a chair right next to her. No sight of Duke though.

_No, no, no, no!_

At once Nathan turned around on his heels and opened the door again but there was only the bullpen showing. No gateway to a weird life-action computer game.

“Nathan?” Nathan could hear Audrey approaching from behind. “Are you okay?”

He nodded absentmindedly and then suddenly turned around and walked over to the troubled man. “Where is he?” he demanded to know.

He just shook his head. “You have to do the first one, and then the second, the third comes next, and then the fourth and the fifth. You have to do them in order and you have to do them all.”

“He can’t. He’s hurt,” Nathan’s voice broke. “Bring him back.” He grabbed the man’s shoulder and he startled back, panic in his eyes.

“I can’t, I can’t,” he started rambling. “He needs to finish the game. One, two, three, four, five. All of it. I can’t just pull him out. This would be wrong. He needs to do level 5. If he doesn’t, it’s not complete. It has to be complete.”

“Then send me back.”

“Only from the start. You have to start from One.”

“I don’t care.” He would do it all over but he promised Duke to come back for him.

“No, stop!” Audrey stepped between them. “Stop, Henry. Just wait for a little while, okay?” Henry nodded and Audrey seemed okay with that.

She grabbed Nathan’s wrist and pulled him two steps away. “What happened?”

“I,” Nathan started and looked in Audrey’s eyes. “I just left him,” he said with a broken voice and could feel the tears sting in his eyes. At once he had his arms full of Audrey. He could feel her warm cheek against his own. “He was hurt. He couldn’t walk anymore and I just left him behind.”

“Sssh, it’s okay. We will get him out of there.”

“What if-” Nathan couldn’t say it but his whole head was occupied by this thought. What if he was already dead? What if he just left him alone to die? Nathan should have stayed with him. Duke didn’t deserve to die alone.

“He’s not, okay?” Audrey sounded so determined, to a degree that Nathan almost thought that she would do anything to bring him back. So he nodded. He couldn’t give up. He had to get back to Duke.

Audrey pulled back and sat in front of Henry. “So, Henry, we need your help.”

“He has to finish, I’m sorry,” he dodged their gazes, not that he ever looked someone in the eyes.

Nathan took a deep breath, tried to push his worry and fear away and to calm himself. “We were a team though, Henry. I made it. Shouldn’t he be here too?”

Henry looked up, seemed confused. “Everyone has to do it on their own. Everyone has to finish.” It seemed like a mantra.

“But you send us in together, at the exact same time. You made us a team. And only one member of a team needs to finish.”

Henry frowned. “That is not how it works. It doesn’t work like this.” He shook his head frantically.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Audrey’s calm voice soothed him a little. “Did you ever put two people in it at the same time?”

“No..”

“Okay, so maybe the rules can change then?”

“It sounds right. They were not two separate players but a team, bound together.”

Hope spread inside of Nathan but he didn’t dare to cling on that. Troubles were dangerous and he learned early enough that they didn’t always work like you wanted them to work. “So Duke can-” he started but stopped when he heard the door open.

Duke clang to the doorknob, leaned weakly against the wood. Nathan jumped up at once, hurried over to him and caught him before Duke could fall. “Hey, hey, I’ve got you,” he whispered while stumbling with him over to the couch. Audrey reacted, yelled outside to Laverne to call an ambulance.

“Hey, Duke, you’re still with me?” He didn’t look like it. He seemed far away and Nathan didn’t like this a bit. His head rested against the backrest. Instinctively he sat down next to him, cradling his hair back.

A faint smile crossed Duke’s lips. “Didn’t I tell you that it would work?”

“Yeah you did,” Nathan whispered, a tight knot forming in his stomach when he noticed how Duke was fading. His eyelids were barely open anymore and his breathing was so quiet that Nathan had to concentrate to hear it. “You’re gonna be okay,” he mumbled, not sure if he wanted to calm Duke or more himself.

“One day, you’re gonna have to tell me how you know that.” The words were slurred and barely audible.

Nathan wanted to say more, _anything_ , but something big was stuck in his throat. Instead he just leaned his forehead against Duke’s head. He closed his eyes, listened to Duke’s breathing. He heard how it got weaker and weaker until it finally stopped. He needed a few more seconds, before he could mumble a quiet, “Audrey?”

He felt her arm brush against his when she looked for a pulse. “I’m so sorry.” Nathan could hear the tears welling up in her voice and his heart broke.

Duke was gone!

It hit him like a punch in the face.

“No,” he croaked and opened his eyes again. He cupped Duke’s cheek, turned his head into his direction. “You can’t just go like that, Duke. We were a team.” Duke had promised he would be there, whole and new, not battered and bruised and dying. “Please, don’t go,” he whispered and kissed his temple.

Duke inhaled a deep breath and jerked up into a straight sitting position. “What happened?” He looked at Nathan, then at Audrey who was still sitting right on the ground in front of Duke’s legs.

Nathan was confused but washed over with joy. “I have not the faintest idea,” he mumbled and checked Duke’s wound. It was all gone, not just the injury, also the blood on his shirt. “But I don’t care.”

“How are you feeling, Duke?” Audrey asked.

“Never better.” Duke felt over the wound that wasn’t there anymore. “I probably just got an extra life,” he joked with a grin.

“No, every player got only one life,” Henry’s voice sounded over to them.

Nathan looked up and noticed that Henry was staring at him. Maybe every player had only one life but Nathan had found an extra one in the last level. In Mario you could share lives if one of the players had lost all of them.

Maybe he just gave his extra life to Duke.

A wide smile formed on his lips and while cradling Duke’s hand he mouthed a silent “Thank you” over to Henry.


	24. Chapter 24

_[afoxnamedmulder](http://afoxnamedmulder.tumblr.com/) asked: Nathan/Duke + bed sharing_

* * *

 

 

“Duke?” It was barely a whisper in the dark room. “Are you still up?”

The bed above him squeaked dangerously so Nathan could be sure that Duke had at least moved. “Hey?” he asked after a while because Duke hadn’t reacted. “I know you’re still up.” He kicked the mattress with his foot to get Duke’s attention.

“How should I sleep if you are bothering me the whole time?” Duke grumbled annoyed and fell silent again.

“Don’t you think it’s scary? Just the two of us?” At the start of this summer camp they had been ten kids in this cabin. Now there were only Duke and Nathan left, all the other kids had been sent home because they had gotten sick.

“It’s still the same cabin, Nate,” Duke sighed. “Just a little quieter or louder from my point of view.”

“Mmmh, yes, sorry.” Nathan turned around on his side and closed his eyes forcefully. This was stupid. He was old enough. His dad would be so disappointed if he heard that he had been scared. It was only an empty room. Nothing had changed except the fact that Duke was the only other living soul in this room. So nothing to be afraid of.

In the silence he could hear every noise around him: the wind which was wailing around the cabin, the rustling of the trees and then he heard a wolf howl in the distance.

“Duke,” he whispered again but right in the same moment a body lay down next to him.

“Better?” Duke was so near that Nathan could feel his breath on his own face.

Nathan turned around, cuddled onto him and nodded. “Better.” To the sound of Duke’s heartbeat he finally fell asleep.


	25. Chapter 25

[fiore-della-valle](http://fiore-della-valle.tumblr.com/) asked: For angsty prompts: Early seasons Nuke, "We used to be."

* * *

 

 

“What are you doing here?” Nathan’s gruff voice didn’t sound too enthusiastic but Duke didn’t care that much. He held up the bottle of scotch he had brought and pushed himself past Nathan into his house.

“What the hell do you think you are doing?” Nathan shouted after him but Duke was sure that he didn’t bother too much, else he would have stopped him from entering in the first place.

“I thought you could use some company,” Duke explained, voice loud so that it rang over to Nathan while he was in the kitchen, fetching two glasses. “And booze.” He poured Nathan and himself a drink and shoved Nathan’s over the countertop to the detective.

Nathan raised an eyebrow, eyed Duke suspiciously, but took the glass anyway. Duke took that as a win. He was still in Nathan’s house and Nathan even accepted his good scotch.

“So, how are you doing?” Duke asked casually.

“Fine,” Nathan grumbled in his usual passive aggressive behaviour. An obvious indicator that Nathan wasn’t doing fine at all.

Duke just shrugged and took a sip from his drink. He stayed quiet for a while until Nathan lost his patience. “How did you know?”

“Audrey texted me that Jess left and you could use a friend.”

“We are no friends anymore, Duke.”

The words stung like a knife. After every time he heard them he thought that the next time it would hurt less. It was the complete opposite. “We used to be,” he whispered almost inaudible.

“Times change.” Nathan looked up, right into Duke’s eyes. “People change.”

It felt like a personal attack, like Nathan judging Duke not being responsible enough to change with him. As if he ever had a choice. There had been no other way for Duke in his life, and Nathan knew that, at least he used to know that. Now he was just angry at Duke for being who he was.

“You’re right, Nathan, people change.” Duke emptied his drink in one go, not feeling very welcome here anymore. “Maybe it was a bad idea coming here.”

He stared at Nathan, waiting for any kind of response, of something, anything that would show him that Nathan knew a reason why it wasn’t. But Nathan stayed stoic, just shot him a cold look.

The silence between them was cut off by Duke’s glass, which he put with full force onto the countertop. “You can keep the scotch.” And with that he left Nathan’s house.


	26. Chapter 26

[@fiore-della-valle](https://tmblr.co/mGYW1aAbkTlR-BUxH7_GUDw) requested: Nuke - “H-how long have you been standing there?” - “Long enough.”

* * *

 

 

Nathan smiled, shook the woman’s hand one more time and watched her leave. He remained like this for a few seconds before turning around, suddenly facing Duke. “H-how long have you been standing there?”

Duke just grinned. “Long enough.” 

“So you heard …?”

“Almost everything, yes!” Duke came closer, put an arm around Nathan’s shoulder. “It was very sweet of you, Nate.” 

Nathan freed himself out of Duke’s grip but instead of dodging the subject as Nathan would normally do, he looked Duke deep into his eyes, being completely serious. “I meant it.” 

Duke was totally speechless for a second.

“You helped us, you _saved_ this woman’s child. She should thank you, not me. You are a good man and it’s about time that other people in this town see this too. You deserve their gratitude.”

“I don’t need it,” Duke said while shrugging.Nathan abruptly shook his head. 

“You _deserve_ it, Duke, don’t think anything else.” 

Seeing Nathan so serious about this, let a comfortable warmth spread through Duke’s body. He smiled happily. “This wasn’t what I meant, Nate. I just don’t need it. It’s enough that I have your gratitude.” 

“Oh!” 

Nathan looked so startled that Duke laughed out loud and clapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t be so surprised.” 

“I’m-I’m not,” Nathan stuttered but he obviously was - and it was really cute. 

So Duke pushed himself more into Nathan’s personal space. “You have always been the most important person to me. So it’s clear that I value your opinion above everyone else’s.” 

Nathan kept quiet and Duke feared for a split second that he had been to open when he suddenly had Nathan’s lips on his own. The kiss didn’t last as long as Duke would have liked but still, Duke couldn’t stop himself of grinning like an idiot. 

“What was that for?” The last time they kissed each other were when they fooled around as teenagers. 

“My gratitude. My thank you for all the times you helped and saved us.” 

“Well,” Duke tilted his head. “I saved your asses very very often. One little kiss will not make up for all the effort and time I put-”

Nathan silenced him with another kiss. “Just shut up,” Nathan mumbled between the kisses, “and let me be grateful.”


	27. Chapter 27

_grey-haven requested: Saw this one a while back: “You killed me!” “You came back! I don’t see why you’re still making such a big deal out of it!” Could work well with post-canon Nuke. If you’re in the mood to write that :)_

* * *

 

“Duke, you were supposed to get rid of this mess,” Nathan shouted the moment he jumped on the Rogue and saw the many boxes still spread around the deck of the boat.

“I was busy,” came the answer from behind one of the stacks.

“With what?” Nathan moved closer to the origin of the voice, just to find Duke on a yoga mat with his feet high in the air and his head on the ground. His chest was bare naked and although Nathan would normally enjoy this view he still was a little pissed that Duke didn’t do what he had promised to do. So he crossed his arms. “Looks like very important business.”

“It is,” Duke answered and brought himself in an upright position.

“Duke, I just wanted-”

“You killed me!” Duke interrupted him. It had become a habit. Every time Nathan criticized Duke only in the slightest or complained about something, Duke used this one line.

Today Nathan was not impressed by it. He only rolled his eyes. “You came back. I don’t see why you’re still making such a big deal out of it.”

Duke smiled, came closer and pressed a kiss to Nathan’s cheek. “I’m not and I’m glad you don’t anymore as well.”

Completely confused Nathan furrowed his brows.

“I will clean up this mess tomorrow. I promise.” Duke walked past him and wanted to go under deck but Nathan was quick enough to stop him.

“What did you mean?”

Duke turned around to face Nathan. “It’s been two months since I’m back, Nate, and you were still blaming yourself.” Nathan opened his mouth but Duke stopped him with a gesture of his hand. “Don’t try to deny it, I know you. You _were_. And I tried to talk to you, convince you that it wasn’t your fault. But it was never easy to get through to you with words so I tried another way.”

“You threw it in my face every opportunity you got.”

“Yeah, every argument we had.” Duke shrugged. “It was the easiest way to win the battle.”

“You little shit.” Nathan said but could feel the smirk creeping up on his lips. He wasn’t really mad.

“At first I thought it made it worse and I was almost willing to stop when I noticed a change. You got more relaxed with it every time I said it. And I thought one day your guilt would go fully away. I was right.”

Nathan opened his mouth again but noticed that he didn’t know what he should say to that.

“You’re alright?” Duke wanted to know and looked worried out of a sudden.

“I’m fine, just-” Nathan searched for the right words and couldn’t find it.

“Just what?” Duke was right in front of him out of a sudden, hands cradling his arms.

Nathan smiled fondly. “Just thinking about a punishment. You won a lot of battles with this cheap trick in the last weeks.”

“Anything you feel suited, Nate. I’m all yours.” With that Duke overcame the last distance between them and put his lips on Nathan’s.


	28. Chapter 28

_[afoxnamedmulder](http://afoxnamedmulder.tumblr.com/) asked: 17 (“And you’re naked now. Okay.”) + Nuke_

* * *

 

 

“Hey, Duke, you have a minute?” Nathan’s voice rang over the peer. Duke didn’t turn around. He knew that Nathan would just jump onto his boat as if he owned the place. And he also knew that it didn’t matter if he said no or not. Nathan would only go after he had what he came here for.

“Of course, I always have time for my least favourite Detective,” Duke answered in a cheerful voice and finally turned around, just to get greeted with Nathan who stood right in front of him. “Woah, Nate, don’t do that.” He said and laid a hand on his chest to calm his beating heart.

“I’m sorry,” Nathan said and put his hand right on top of Duke’s. “I didn’t want to startle you.”

Duke looked down at Nathan’s hand and furrowed his brow. Okay, something was funny here. Definitely funny. “Okay, what do you want?” He asked in hope of some normalcy.

But Nathan shrugged with his shoulders. “I hoped we could talk.”

Talk? Nathan was no one who talked about stuff. But Duke would play along. He had enough experience with Troubles to know that it was safest to play along in the beginning until you could figure out what it was all about. “About what?”

“About you. About the way you look at me.” Nathan came closer, trapped Duke against a wall, both hands leaning on the wall on both sides next to Duke’s head. “I know you want me, Duke,” he whispered now and Duke hated his body for reacting with a chill running down his back. “Am I right?”

Oh god, yes, Nathan was right. But the problem was: This was not Nathan. So Duke dodged under his arm to get away from him. “So how about we talk about this some other time, huh? I am very busy right now.” And he pointed behind himself, to nothing in particular.

“I think right now is the perfect time. You are here, I am here. What else could you wish for?”

Some sanity? Duke ran a hand over his face and sighed loudly. Why did Nathan always come to him when he was hit by some crazy Trouble? Duke had the feeling that this happened almost every two weeks by now. “Look, Nathan,” Duke was not finished to try to talk him out of it, “it’s not that I wouldn’t love to.” Oh god, he really would love to. “But you are not in your right mind.”

“What are you talking about?” Nathan came closer again and Duke didn’t have the willpower to ran away from him the entire time so he remained still on the spot. “I have never been so sure about anything in my entire life.” Nathan grabbed Duke’s shirt and pulled him towards him. “I want you,” he whispered against Duke’s lips before he sealed them with a kiss.

Duke’s mind went blank, only felt Nathan’s firm body against his and Nathan’s lips on his own. His body went on autopilot. He pulled Nathan closer and groaned into the kiss. His whole body shivered when Nathan ran his hands over his body, his back and his chest. Only as Nathan got to Duke’s pants and tried to undo his belt Duke was pulled back into reality. Immediately he stopped Nathan’s intention and pulled gently away. “Okay, let’s just breathe for a moment,” Duke said and meant mostly himself because he doubted that this would calm Nathan down. Nathan seemed to be a man on a mission and some deep breaths wouldn’t stop him. Duke on the other hand had to stop his beating heart and his pulsing body if he wanted to keep a clear mind.

“Come on, Duke, why did you stop?” Nathan tried to persuade Duke with kissing his neck. Duke closed his eyes and took another deep breath.

“I just thought we could relocate this to a more comfortable place,” Duke suggested and hoped that Nathan would just stop.

“I don’t care where we do it.”

Duke hadn’t doubted that actually but Duke needed to get out of this situation. “But I do.” So Duke just grabbed Nathan’s hand and pulled him along. “Let us go downstairs, into my bed.”

A little surprised about the sudden movement Nathan stopped with the kissing and nodded, following Duke like a little puppy. Duke sighed relieved and hoped that this would work without Nathan going fully nuts.

“I just need to get something out of the bathroom. You make yourself comfortable while you wait.” He pushed Nathan gently on the bed and when Duke was out of the room he closed the door and locked it. For a moment he leaned against the door and closed his eyes. He thanked all the gods that nothing had happened except some innocent kissing. In case Nathan would remember any of this, Duke was sure that he could look past this after some time. How he knew Nathan he would probably just ignore it and deny that it had ever happened.

Duke shook his head and stepped away from the door. He could deal with this problem when it arrived. Right now he had to deal with the problem that was currently in his bedroom. Duke walked back into the kitchen and grabbed his phone to call Audrey. If there was a Trouble always call Audrey. Duke had learned that this was the wisest choice. It didn’t work too well though if Audrey didn’t pick up, just like now.

So Duke’s only option was to leave a message, “Hey, Audrey, it’s Duke. It would be really nice of you to call me back. I have a crazy Nathan here once again. No worry, he is restrained but I could use your help with this Trouble.”

With that he put his phone on the counter and gazed over back to his bedroom door. By now he had thought that Nathan would try to get out of there. But it was unusually quiet in there. Duke knew that it was probably a very bad idea to check if everything was alright but he had to know. Maybe there was more to this Trouble than the greedy sexdrive. He couldn’t just stand out here when Nathan might be in danger.

So Duke unlocked the door and opened it carefully. Duke just stared at Nathan who laid on his bed, legs spread out and arms behind his head. “And you’re naked now. Okay.” Duke couldn’t stop himself to look at Nathan although he knew that this was a big mistake. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of him. Not even when Nathan stood up and walked over to him.

“You like what you see?” Nathan teased him.

And these words, so untypical for Nathan, let Duke snap out of it once again. “No!”

“Oh, you do,” Nathan kept going and let his index finger glide over Duke’s chest. Duke immediately took Nathan’s hand and shoved it away.

“Okay, yes, I like what I’m seeing but there is nothing going to happen, Nate. I would only take advantage of you. You are not in your right mind. You would never come to me like this. You would never want this. So you will lie back down and I will leave this room and we wait until this stupid Trouble is over and you can think straight again.”

“What are you talking about, Duke? This is me, only me. I was only afraid to act on my feelings. I swear to you that I want you with everything I’ve got. Please.” Nathan tried to kiss him once more but Duke stopped him before Nathan could even touch him. Gently he pushed him back down on the bed.

“See you later,” Duke said and hurried out of the room.

Duke leaned against the counter of his kitchen and played with the glass of scotch in his hand. With every passing minute Duke felt more miserable. Of course nothing happened but he knew how close he had been to just take this opportunity. It was like a dream came true, Nathan here on his boat, willing. It had been so many years since Duke had heard the words “I want you” from Nathan and it had made Duke weak. Nathan had always been his weak spot and today had only been a cruel reminder of that. And also a reminder that this would never ever going to happen in the future. These times were over. Nathan would never come back to him, would never love him again. Duke had thought he was over it by now but as it seemed he wasn’t. There was only a deep ache in his chest now.

Duke swallowed down the rest of the liquid before he put the glass back on the counter. The clank of the glass was followed by a pounding. “Let me out of here, Duke.”

Duke raised his head, looked over to the door, and contemplated if it was really safe to let him out.

“Duke, are you there?” Nathan hammered against the door once more. “Come on, Duke.”

It sounded like the old Nathan so Duke made his way over to the door. He took a deep breath, tried to push away all those nasty thoughts from only a minute ago. He smiled to get into the right mood. “Are you decent?” he asked.

“If you don’t let me out of here in the next three seconds then I will arrest you for kidnapping an officer.”

Okay, yes, this was his good old Nathan. Duke didn’t hesitate any longer and unlocked the door. He was pretty sure that Nathan would hold his promise.

Nathan pushed past him to get away and Duke almost thought that he would just leave without another word but he stopped in the kitchen and turned around. “What the hell happened? I woke up in your bed and I was-” Nathan stopped and looked to the floor. “What happened?” he decided to repeat his first question.

“Well,” Duke started and then didn’t know how to go on. He possibly couldn’t tell Nathan the truth. “Let’s just say you were a little out of your mind thanks to some Trouble and I locked you up in my room so you wouldn’t harm anyone.”

“So I didn’t?” Nathan looked intensely at Duke. “I didn’t hurt you?”

Duke shook his head. “No, everything’s fine, Nate, don’t worry.”

Nathan didn’t stop looking at him. There was suspicion in his eyes and then it melted away. “Are you sure?” he asked and came closer, put a hand on Duke’s arm.

Out of reflex Duke pulled away. He didn’t trust himself in Nathan’s proximity right now, especially not when Nathan showed signs of caring.

“Duke?” Nathan got the message at least and took a step back. “I’m sorry if I did anything.”

Duke shook his head once more. “No, you didn’t.” It was important that Nathan didn’t think that this all was his fault. He didn’t do anything. Duke was the one who almost made a mistake. “Just go now, please.”

“Okay.” Nathan nodded and turned around.

When Nathan was out of sight, Duke turned around and reached for the bottle of scotch and his glass.

 


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little sequel to the last chapter!

_[@grey-haven](https://tmblr.co/mPkzuYHoUWsINqZ_PS9cJ1A) requested: Nuke - “I think I drank too much.”_

* * *

 

 

The moment Nathan entered the Gull he immediately looked over to Tracy who pointed to one of the tables in the corner. Duke looked miserable, slumped over the table, hand gripped tight around his glass.

Nathan sighed, walked over to him and sat down opposite of him. “What’s wrong, Duke?” Since Nathan had woken up naked in Duke’s bed after some weird Trouble Duke hadn’t talked to him, had avoided him actually. Every time he tried to call him, Duke hadn’t answered. And he always picked up, no matter what went on between them at this moment. It had bothered Nathan more than he was ready to admit.

When Tracy called him half an hour ago to talk to Duke, he didn’t hesitate one second.

“Duke?” Nathan tried again when Duke hadn’t answered.

“I think I drank too much,” he slurred and looked lost at his empty glass.

Nathan raised his eyebrow. “You think?” Gently he took the glass from him and put it on the table next to them so Duke couldn’t reach it anymore. Then he grabbed Duke’s arm and stood up. “Come on, I’ll bring you home.”

Nathan had expected some reluctance or a little fight but Duke let himself move without any problems, only his lack of balance and accuracy let them trip a few times. Nathan put Duke on the passenger seat of the Bronco and drove him back to the Rouge.

Duke had been quiet the whole ride, Nathan almost thought that he had dozed off but he was still awake when they arrived. Nevertheless, Duke remained silent. Only when Nathan put him on his own bed, Duke opened his mouth, “The last time you were in here, you were naked.”

“Yeah, I remember that,” Nathan said and wished he could forget about this. He had been in some awkward situations after Troubles but nothing like this. But the thing that bothered him the most was that he didn’t remember what happened before that. Something had happened. Duke wouldn’t make himself so scarce if nothing had happened.

Nathan also tried to get some information out of Audrey but apparently she didn’t know what happened at Duke’s either. She only could tell him that this Trouble let people act on their deepest desires. But this didn’t give Nathan an explanation, a vague idea what could have happened but nothing in particular. Nathan hated the thoughts that ran through his mind when he thought about how Duke acted after he had woken up, what this might mean, what Nathan possibly had done.

On the one hand Nathan didn’t want to know if he had hurt Duke in any way but on the other hand he needed to know to make it up to him. Maybe now Duke was willing to talk.

“What happened that day, Duke?”

Duke only shook his head and pulled his hand away. It broke Nathan’s heart to see this movement. Instinctively he wanted to reach for Duke’s hand again but his brain stopped him. Maybe touch wasn’t a good idea right now.

And Nathan was sure now that he probably hurt Duke in a way that he possibly couldn’t make up ever again. “I’m sorry if I said or did anything you didn’t want me to. I’m so so sorry, Duke.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Duke-”

“I am a terrible person, Nate. I almost, I almost - you were there saying all these things and then you kissed me. I wanted it, all of it, and I almost took advantage of you, I’m so sorry. You were there and you wanted me. It was so hard to resist but it shouldn’t have been. I knew it wasn’t you. I knew you would never say this stuff, never act like this. You wouldn’t want me.”

“Hey, hey, Duke,” Nathan tried to calm him down. Carefully he cupped his cheek, watched Duke closely how he would react but he remained calm at his touch. “You are not a terrible person. It doesn’t matter what you thought. It matters what you did. And you did the right thing.”

Duke looked at him and suddenly his eyes widened in shock. “Oh, oh no, I didn’t just say all this stuff?”

Nathan smiled gently. “It’s okay, Duke.”

“I won’t act on any of this, Nate, promise. My feelings don’t mean anything. I don’t-”

“Stop, Duke, please. You know what bothers me most about the things you said?”

Duke looked at him like a scared little child, afraid of the punishment he’ll get for his behaviour. And then he shook his head.

“You said I kissed you and it really bothers me that I don’t remember this. Maybe we could repeat that some time in the future.” Not now. Duke was drunk, Nathan doubted that he would remember much the next morning. He would probably need to remind Duke of some parts of their conversation. But Nathan wanted Duke to remember a kiss between them so it had to wait.

Duke had waited the last time. Now it was Nathan’s turn.

“You want to kiss me?”

Nathan nodded. “I always want to kiss you, Duke, but we wait till tomorrow. You sleep now and I’ll be here in the morning with some fresh coffee. Sounds good?”

“Sounds like I’m already dreaming,” Duke mumbled before let himself fall on his bed and closed his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit me on [tumblr](http://beyondtriumvirate.tumblr.com/) to chat or just say hi. And feel welcome to send in more prompts if you like :)


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